Hand In Hand

"The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength."- Isaiah 58:11

Dear Reader,

It has been far too long.

Two months is as long as I think I've ever gone without writing something on here. If I could best describe why, it would be that verse above from Isaiah.

My own well became dry.

Looking at my keyboard each day and knowing it was crying out did nothing but make me run away from it. I can't even say it was writer's block. With all that has been going on in this journey with God, I should have been able to sit down and write something...but it wasn't until tonight that it finally wanted to come out. In the car on the way to a restaurant, my friend leaned over and said, "Have you ever thought about writing for _insert school newspaper here_?" I looked at him and said something along the lines of, "As of right now, no." The thought had never really crossed my mind and sank in. As I mentioned before, the thought of writing just frustrated me, because I wasn't sure what was supposed to be written at all. I asked him why, and he said, "Well...I knew you liked to write, so I thought I would ask."

That was it ladies and gentleman.

I knew then that I couldn't sit and procrastinate any longer. So here I am, in the hallway of my dorm, headphones in, Bible at hand, sitting on an over-sized neon green pillow, while wrapped in a blanket, typing as fervently as I can before my thoughts and laptop battery die.

If I could leave one thing with you out of the countless thoughts that are going through my mind now is this: there is nothing like experiencing the hand of the Lord, taking hold of yours, and walking before you.

The best way I can describe this is that for quite some time I have been bringing God along with me, instead of me going along with Him. I would say, "Alright God, here we go," and go right on to doing what had to be done for the day and He was there saying, "Why don't you come this way?"

A leader on the floor wrote on the board (also in our hallway as I am), Proverbs 16:9. "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Ever since that verse has been carving its way deeper and deeper into my heart. How many days have I made plans to get things done, and they not get done? How many times had I tried to go about doing things running off of who knows how little of sleep, and would only end up succumbing to laziness? Too many. Each time it was ME, not God. He doesn't sit there in Heaven and say, "Ok, Jessica, wear yourself out. I don't want to help you." He's been waiting and calling after me to just lay it down before His feet. Not just my schoolwork. Not just what had recently been "burdening" me...but everything. And not just "everything" that can come to mind immediately, like, "Yes, Jessica, my family, my schoolwork, friends, relationships...everything right?" For me it came down to my joy, my mindset, my priorities, my everything. God dug deep into the depths of every fiber of "everything" that I didn't even realize was there and said, "Let Me help you. Let Me lead you."

I was definitely in a dry place. Musically, songs came and faded. Writing, words ran out of my mind as quickly as they had come. My everything had not yet become HIS everything...and I encourage you dear reader to have that time with Him where you ask, "Who's leading, Lord? Me? Or You?" My answer was me at times, and even those "at times" was just enough for more dry spots to develop, and now, He has taken me to a higher place. He has taken me and lifted me up to where He is and says, "Do you see what I see, Jessica?" Even then my eyes are only seeing so much, and my vision, thanks to Him is becoming clearer every day. I have a ways to go, but what it comes down to is:

in my wasteland, He made a spring,
and in my wandering, He took the lead.

It is a beautiful place to be.
Let Him lead,
I promise He won't let you down.

Blessings,

JB