The Daily Wordoscope

Four Letter Word

2011-12-14T23:06:00.000-06:00

Dear Reader,

Psalm 27 is the scripture base for today's entry.

Have you ever had a moment where something hit you so hard an immediate rush of an emotion came over you?
Either it made you immensely happy, sad, angry, disappointed...

That happened to me tonight. I became determined.

As soon as that freight train of a realization hit, the question was asked as if blaring through a megaphone:

"Jessica, what are you waiting for?"

It startled me. Not in fear but in urgency. If you're reading this, and have talked to me in depth about...life...there are lots of dreams and ideas brewing around in my mind. Sometimes to the point where I ramble in circles, catch myself, apologize for rambling, and try to "sum up" my point (and I love you dearly if you've ever experienced one of those conversations).

A few entries ago I mentioned how there may be those "I will" seasons. God says that "He will" do something, and it is a matter of actually letting Him do what He said He promised to do. I failed to see at the time that much of that also has to do with waiting. I've even written past entries on waiting before-

but not like this.

Most of the time, I don't like it when someone says, "Awww...you're just a baby," or anything for that matter along those lines. I will think to myself, "I'm 19...not 5.". To be honest though, there is no need for me to be upset about my age, what has happened in my life thus far, and where it is going, because Lord willing, there is more to go. This leads me to say the following:

When I opened my devotional tonight and the title reads "Wait and Prepare Yourself," I saw that many times I've waited on people, a man, an opportunity, a paycheck, but very little on God. I've probably said it to myself, to others, or heard it a thousand times, but there's a difference between something being said and hitting you square in the face, and something that registers in your spirit, like it did for me tonight.

People are clearly, not God, and no where near close. One of the hardest lessons I've learned is that they truly do come and go in life. God is God and THE I Am. Period. (Rev. 1:8).
A man (for the ladies) or a woman (for the men), will not satisfy your heart. I repeat: Will NOT. Emotions, people's opinions, and creative fantasies will not last. God MADE our hearts, and knows them much better than we do. (Phil. 4:6-7).
An opportunity, is usually temporary. It does not define who you are or what you are capable of. His plans, for YOU, His child, for HIS Kingdom, go into eternity. (Jer. 29:11-14).
A paycheck, may not be the amount you expected to make, and may not come when you need it. God's provision sustains, maintains, and is always on time. (Luke 12:22-34).

I say this still taking it in for myself.

Do not wait on the unreliable.

Wait on the One who knows every step you have taken and are going to take.
Wait on the One who gave you the gifts and burning desire that you have to change the world and the people in it.
Wait on the One who made you for a specific purpose that no job title or position could give you.
Wait on the One who has seen each intimate moment of your life - who made you.
What on the One who sees the end of something we may not have even see begin.

Wait on God.

Blessings,

JB

(Oh yes, I'm taking advantage of YouTube videos)

And So They Danced

2011-12-13T00:07:00.000-06:00

Dear Reader,

I remember when my grandmother was alive at hours such as this I would have music playing, louder than anticipated, and at the most unexpected time, she would lightly knock on my door and asked me what I was doing.
Being startled, I'd say something along the lines of, "Oh...not much, I'll be going to bed soon."

Then she'd smile, like she knew. In the moment I would bet she didn't, but thinking back on it now, in those still moments at night is when she'd be awake too, and she was fully aware of what was going on.

I was spending time with Him taking advantage of those still moments like they'd never come again.

God reminded me tonight of those moments, which honestly since being in such a still environment at home,
with no homework, classes, or plans...
He's calling me back to them again, and this poem is that reminder, and peek into what they were like.

Have you ever seen something so dusty that it almost looked like a blanket over whatever had been just left there.
Well title that shelf "Jessica's Poetry" and that will describe when the last time I wrote a poem was, haha.
(In other words...it's been ages)
I seem to get these unctions to write at the latest hours.
He knows me well.

"And So They Danced"
Written 12.13.2011

What an hour.
What a time.
Inconvenient?
No.
The timing is just right.
It's right because the heart knows.
It beats faster,
to the drums in the Spirit,
keeping time with Heaven.
Beckoning is the tune that plays.
What a sound.
What a rhythm.
Systematic?
No.
It flows just fine.
It flows just fine because the time is right.
To get away,
responding to a call of intimacy,
with the Creator,
Orchestrating the opportunity He composed.
The perfect score.
The perfect Partner.
What response should be given,
to the praises raining down from Heaven,
into the space where anticipation rose.
An invitation divine,
could not be ignored.
A Hand extended,
to join.
And so They danced.
Father.
Child.
Eternity never seemed so near.
Heaven never came so close to earth.

As He takes the time to call out to you:
respond.

Blessings,

JB

Oh, and here's some music that sparked this.
(I'm a bit late, and just found out about this Jon Thurlow guy)

In remembrance of His faithfulness...

Thank you Wanda, for helping me figure out how to finally put videos up.

I will.

2011-12-11T15:59:00.001-06:00

Dear Reader,

"The Lord had said to Abram, "Leave your father's family, and go to the land that I will show you. I will bless you and make you famous and you will be a blessing to others. I will bless those who bless you and curse those who treat you with contempt. All the families on earth will be blessed through you.""- Genesis 12:2-3

Have you ever been in a place where you reached an "I will" season with God?

Let me explain.

Over the past few weeks there have been more frequent nights where I find myself saying, "God...it's three in the morning, can I write this _(insert idea, vision, dream, etc.)_ down in the morning? I do have an 8:50 class You know." The thing is, He does know, but He decides to share with me anyways, when my mind is at ease and quite frankly, most vulnerable.

But here is the problem.

I hold onto those gifts from God, whether an idea, vision, or dream, with the utmost care. I also hold onto them with expectancy of what is to come from them. What He gives me, I not only cannot do in my own effort, but I feel nowhere close to even starting them. I ask God, "Hey...so...what exactly do you want me to do right now? Remember when you told me this? Yeah, that. How is this all going to get off the ground anyways?" The problem is, I start thinking ahead - too far ahead.

I forget that there are still things to be completed and refined right where I am in life, before anything else can begin. Entering into an "I will" season can brew one of these two things: trust or impatience.

An "I will" season is that time when God says, as He did unto Abraham, "I will...," and then proceeds with not telling you all of the details but instead desires you to simply trust Him in how you're going to get there. Occasionally, He may tell us the details in what is ahead. We will at times respond with impatience, and thinking that as I said before, we can do what He has given us in our own effort, because we feel that if we don't "do" something, it won't ever start. In Scripture, the pattern is God's "I wills" tend to proceed the "you wills". What He needs to do must happen first before we put our hands to anything. If we try to do it the other way around, we may have a mess on our hands instead.

Which bring me to this:

Do not hold any disdain or impatience toward what season you are in. No matter what "I wills" God has given you, He said that He will do whatever He has promised because He will, and because He is God.
As Sarah may not have understood how she was going to bear children for Abraham...
As Esther, a Jew, may not have understood how she was going to save her people...
As Jeremiah may not have understood how he was going to become the prophet of nations...

we may not understand how God is going to some of the things He has told us He will do...

but that's the whole point.
He will.
~~Not us.~~

Blessings to you dearest readers, and have a fantastic rest of your week.

JB

Great I Am

2011-11-25T20:11:00.001-06:00

Dear Reader,

For starters, I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving!
My family is definitely still working on an abundance of leftovers...and I will be happy to take some back with me to school (Thank goodness for plastic containers and dorm fridges...).

Anyways, I once again a sitting at my favorite coffee house EVER (again), during my stay at home over this Thanksgiving break.
No matter how hard I tried, I have not been able to focus on my homework, take-home exam, or anything I was hoping to do in a "productive" manner.

For the first time discovering this beautiful thing called Noise Trade(I'm definitely a bit behind), long story short, I downloaded a worship album.

As it (among many other albums) were being added to my computer, I was writing out a letter to God in a Word Document. Some days I think a lot faster than I can ever possibly write by hand, like right now. In this letter was quite a bit of "God whys," "God helps," "God what am I going to dos," and so on. Then on my iTunes came this song that completely threw me off guard. It's one of those songs that in the beginning starts off really soft, then the chorus gets loud...unexpectedly. With music already playing in this coffee house...I guarantee you I didn't hear a thing of this song until the chorus. This reader is what I have come to leave you with:

The Song-
"Great I Am"
New Life Worship
(I wish Blogger let us post videos...)

Among all of the things whirling around in my head, and my cries out to God, even in a letter on a Word Document, I suddenly realized, all of the things I was asking Him, about life, my future, my dreams, my shortcomings...He already knew. It was as though hands rested on my shoulders and a voice said, "Rest...and don't worry about it." In the end, it is not my life, future, dreams, or shortcomings that are going to exactly do anything in my life. For too long I have been looking at them first then asking God later...

"But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you."- Matthew 6:33

Ladies and gentlemen I've had it backwards for what seems like the longest time.

So much time, energy and thoughts are wasted when I don't think of Him first. He truly is the Great, I Am as He spoke unto Moses from the burning bush.

Greater than any dream,
any shortcoming,
anything.

Besides...who created of those desires in your heart in the "first" place? ;)

Keep that in mind as you go about...life, and everything else, according to His plan, as promised "shall be added unto you."

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart's desires."- Psalm 37:4

Blessings,

JB

Also: What some great Christmas music? Free? Click here to support Laura Cooke, and a few friends of mine ;)

Also #2: THANK YOU for the wonderful friends of mine that have been saying these very same things to me for the past few weeks now. You've been used by God in ways you may or may not have realized. I love you dearly.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

2011-11-15T23:18:00.001-06:00

Dear Reader,

SO, I was given some blog awards by my fellow blogger and good friend, Rachelle, and it is now my turn to respond in doing the following:

The Official Blog Award Rules:
(the same for both awards)

1. Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award.
2. Share 7 things about yourself.
3. Give the award to 15 other bloggers.

First I would like to link the 15 blogs...

Not put in any specific order...
1. The Watered Soul An abundance of wisdom and insight I've received from reading it.
2. For the Fabulous and FrugalMy Afro + This Blog = Most of my Natural Hair Tips.
3. Abbie Writes This girl is HILARIOUS, and an excellent writer. Check her out.
4. Bloom! An online Christian women's magazine with a lot of fantastic interviews of authors, speakers, etc. and inspiring articles.
5. the Journey Probably my favorite blog from a missionary overseas. She is passionately serving the Lord in Uganda with an abundance of beautiful little girls (and did I mention she just came out with a book?)
6. Cupcakes, Sprinkles, and Other Happy Things Lead singer from Addison Road, her life, and what God teaches her along the way...with many humorous stories told.
7. Forte for Freedom A talented writer...one cause...and a passion to fight it.

I legitimately don't have more than that for blog recognitions...there are MANY out there, but these are my favorites :) I hope you enjoy!

Now according to the rules...here are 7 things about myself. And to make it more interesting, I'm making them all about winter and Christmas. I don't care if it's still Fall or that Christmas is over a month away :)

1. It's a Wonderful Life = a movie that I've heard a lot about...good things...but I've never seen it...yet
2. I've always wondered what the "songs/prayers of praise" and the Psalms originally sounded like when they were first sung/spoken. Even more specifically, Mary's song of praise in Luke when she is told she is to give birth to Jesus. I can't even begin to imagine...
3. Sometimes I wish snow would "regenerate" itself whenever it was messed with or stepped in. As much as I love snowball fights or sledding, untouched snow is beautiful to see. Then when it's hot again, it can melt all that it wants to.
4. Going to the "ZooLights" at the Phoenix Zoo as a kid when I grew up in Arizona were the best. I wish they were at zoos everywhere. (and if you have no idea what I'm talking about...you're missing out)
5. I put wayyy to many marshmallows in my hot chocolate if I have access to a bag when I make it
6. My brother and I sometimes makes "ghetto" snow cones if it snows a lot. Ingredients: clean snow (emphasis on clean) and Gatorade.
7. Pajamas are worn all day at my house on Christmas. It's a really chill day with my family, and I love it every year.

Your turn. :)

Blessings,

JB

A Letter To You

2011-11-08T00:36:00.000-06:00

This is written as encouragement to whoever is reading, wherever you are, by location, or in life.
I pray that in some way it reaches you in that ever-so-intimate place also known as your heart.

Dear Reader,

I have come to realize that every day starts with a blessing. That blessing is the opening of our eyes and the first breath we take of that new day.

What could this mean? From any age, young or old, the number of days that have been lived thus far have been given for a purpose, beyond our understanding. On average for myself, I've lived almost 7,000 days. The thought in itself blows my mind in the sense that I surely can't even recall all 7,000 days that I have lived...but I know there is One who can.

In that fact alone comes the realization that we have "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22)."
You have abilities and gifts given to you that were specifically designed and created "for such a time as this (Esther 4:14)," even if all of time cannot be contained despite our own efforts to add hours, minutes, and seconds to a day.

Do not be dismayed or overtaken by the things in this world which could be seen as worry, doubt, distractions, stress, anger, depression, division, lust, (Gal. 5:19-21)...for you were made for more.

While I may or may not know you, the trials of your day, or circumstances that have caused any kind of downheartedness, know that even during those times where the "light at the end of the tunnel" seems faint and beyond reach, that that very light lies within you, and because of its power as your inheritance, countless things will try to come against it and snuff it out (Ephesians 1:18).

Do not allow it.

Be strong against every obstacle as God told Joshua to be "strong and courageous (Josh. 1:6)."
Have joy so that this strength may abide in greater ways day by day (Nehemiah 8:10)
Rest amidst chaos and dispute knowing that it is God who fights on your behalf (Psalm 91).
Speak life, prosperity, and comfort instead of death, negativity, and fear, for words can bring healing (Proverbs 16:24).
Keep going, because the paths before you are intertwined with divine appointments and opportunities for His Kingdom (Jeremiah 29:11)
Let your hands and feet be those of Christ, for even the smallest gesture may bring an abundant blessing (Proverbs 3:27).

Above all, love with His love. His love
sacrificed,
gave unconditionally,
and overcame death itself.

My dear brother or sister, do not "grow weary in well-doing" (Gal. 6:9),
finish your race with all diligence (2 Tim. 4:7)
and await in confidence for the days to come (Revelation 22:12-13)

Blessings,

JB

Awake My Soul

2011-10-14T12:56:00.000-05:00

Dear Reader,

What I originally thought I was going to write about got completely turned around. Am I surprised?
No.
While I sit here writing this to you, my heart feels like its heavily beating...rapidly. Words would fail to describe the feeling, so I hope that suffices for an explanation.

As I said in my last entry, this week is Fall Break. One week out of school, with a dear friend, and my mind slowing down from the hustle and bustle of schoolwork, has allowed God to take Himself and open a huge door within my heart. With this door opening, there has been an immense rattling around of what feels like every paramount passion and desire I've ever had in my life. Some of these desires I've shoved under the rug and forgotten about...but not now. God has taken that rug and ever so intently lifted it off of the ground which all of those desires laid and then proceeded in reminding me they were there.

Think of whenever you walk into an attic, or a room, that has been unattended to for some time, and upon entering you start coughing. There dust has been collecting there for so long
because the room has been unkempt;
it has been ignored
so of course you aren't used to breathing in all of the dust.
Thus has happened this week with those same desires. At first, I'd say to God, "What are You trying to pull here? I haven't thought about this in who knows how long. Why now? Why ever for that matter?" I was in my "coughing" fit. I wasn't used to these things being in my face so suddenly.

Then just as quickly as those things were put in my face, was when they began to settle into my heart. That dusty neglected room started being cleaned, and instead of feeling as though I were breathing in dust, I was breathing in air that brought...life...and it felt like all this time I truly hadn't been awake.

Now I am.

So what does a dusty room, desires, and God have to do with anything? A whole lot actually. I realized that in many areas of my life I put limits on God. I left unattended the rooms in my heart that I thought were not important and wouldn't play an influential role in my life. Once I got comfortable in the room I created for myself, where I was used to the desires and dreams I had placed there, and got comfortable, it's safe to say that I started falling asleep. This is not a place where you want to be: sleeping, while there is that place that God wants to awaken. I say this encouragement to you, dear reader, that this awakening does not mean changes will happen overnight. It does not mean that the things God starts to "dust off" won't look like they belong in that room within your heart in the first place.

It does mean, that a surrender beings to take place that is world-changing, life-altering, and Heaven-shaking.

"Awake, my soul! Awake, harp and lyre! I will awaken the dawn. I will praise you, Lord, among the nations; I will sing of you among the peoples. For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."-Psalm 57:8-10

Awaken, dear brothers and sisters :)

Blessings,

JB

Hey There Stranger

2011-10-12T00:24:00.002-05:00

Dear Reader,

Thank you to the Anonymous commenter who said something along the lines of...
"No posts since July. Where are you?"

Excellent question, Anonymous...
and really, thank you.
You were the push to start writing again.
(and after taking forever to figure out the new Blogger layout, I just realized nearly a month later that your comments were there)

Honestly, I have been asking myself the same question. Every time I sign onto Blogger and see that "Last Post" was way back when...three months ago, I cringe.
This week is "Fall Break," also known as, the week-long break from school that we have directly after midterms, and needless to say, there is ample time to write.
So, that is what I will do...write.
May God give me the words to share with you!
Until then dearest reader, have a fabulous rest of your night...day...or however you look at it.
Writing this at 12-something in the morning on "Wednesday" and not having gone to sleep yet, it is definitely still Tuesday in my book ;)
Or, if you're reading this after a good night's sleep and it's a brand new day, go out with a smile, and the peace knowing His mercies are new.

Blessings,

JB

The Best 94 Cents I've Spent

2011-07-02T00:05:00.003-05:00

Dear Reader,

This post has absolutely nothing to do with fireworks...
but with the Fourth of July coming up though, they work just fine.
Let the entry begin.

At the beginning of my freshman year in college, I went to Barnes and Noble and bought what I thought to be the perfect journal. I'm way too picky about line spacing and page size...and they happen to always be right on target when it comes to my journal options. This journal has a beautifully painted image of a tree on both sides, leather, made in Italy. I thought that there was no way I wasn't going to NOT finish the journal by the end of the year...

or so I thought.

Being someone who writes quite a bit, I also have multiple journals for completely different purposes. The Barnes and Noble journal I bought was the this-is-what-I-did-today journal. I also have my prayer journal...and this isn't an incredibly expensive journal from Barnes and Noble.

I go to Wal-Mart.
I spend 94 cents on a Composition Book.
I walk out a happy customer.
I walk out a happy "journaler".

Usually what happens is I get some good ol' duct tape and collage the Composition Book with pictures and quotes to make it more my own. Then, I have a handy bag of Bic Pens (nothing fancy, and they work better than those fancy pens sometimes), and then I just write.

I've realized recently that I have gone back more to those 94 cent Composition Books and discovered more revelations, answered prayers, and words from God than I ever did in my expensive day-to-day journals. I go back and see countless notes from seminars, church services, and mentoring sessions and flashback to elementary school when I was the one that just took notes on field trips (YES...I did). I read each word in the presence of God and realize that all that He has spoken to me, that has ended up penned on a blank page is a TREASURE.

Have you ever noticed how in movies that when someone or a small group of people are either hunting for and find treasure, they're not quick to run out and tell the entire world? Even the journey to find the treasure is kept between the explorers themselves in order to reach it timely enough to claim it as theirs.

The same goes for those times where I spend with God. The journey of seeking after what He is wanting to speak to me through His Word is an adventure and must be passionately pursued every step of the way. As each treasure is found, He reveals the time, place, person, to which it will overflow from my life.

Dearest reader, I come to you saying treasure whatever the Lord shows you. I even encourage you to write them down along the way. As you begin to treasure what the Lord shows you...

you never know when you may hand the map over to someone to find their treasure for themselves :)

I have saved the verse for last today:

"I rejoice in your word like one who discovers a great treasure."
Psalm 119:162

If I do not write Monday, have a splendid, safe, fire-work-filled Fourth of July!

God Bless,

JB

In Honor of Father's Day

2011-06-18T14:34:00.007-05:00

Dear Reader,

I know I won't have the as much time to write tomorrow as I would like, so I thought I would write my Father's Day entry a little early.

Father's Day for me has always been bittersweet. I don't think I will ever forget the father-daughter dance that my church did a few years ago that I wrote about in a previous entry here, as well as some of my story. As I came outside to the deck today to read and write a while, God highlighted a specific part in a passage of scripture that I will never think the same about again. I do not know the relationship you have with your father, if your father was never in your life, or is no longer in your life. The scripture that struck me so today was one I've heard before...many times.

Jesus is teaching his followers how to pray in Matthew 6.

What does that prayer begin with?

Our Father...

I don't know what comes to your mind, dear reader, but as I started thinking about this more and more this picture came to mind as though Jesus were saying...

As you enter into His throne room in Heaven with prayers and praises, declaring His name as Holy...that His will be put before your own...and that He would provide every need...and would forgive you while showing you how to forgive others...while being protected from the wicked ways of the world and conquering the battles you face...and saying His Kingdom reigns and will reign forever-

see Him as Father.

If I could only begin to write all of His names. But one thing I encourage you to see is that through the life of Jesus, there is the ultimate relationship between a Father and Son. No matter where you have been in your life, where you are going, there is One that is always with you throughout it all. He will never leave (Deuteronomy 31:6). He will provide (Luke 12:31). He will forgive (Psalm 30:4-5). He will care (1 Peter 5:7). He will show you the secrets of life (Jeremiah 33:3). He will protect (Psalm 91:14-16). He will teach (Proverbs 13:11-14). He will love (1 John 4:8).

Take the time out to say thank you and love on the Godly father figures in your life, whether they are biological or not. Most importantly, recognize the Father that brought them into your life and gave you the life you are living today.

"Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen."

-Matthew 6:9-13

Happy Father's Day

:)

Pondering with Green Tea

2011-06-16T13:31:00.006-05:00

"You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God."-1 Peter 3:4

Going to youth group the other night, I was able to talk to a girl who I hadn't seen in a very long time. The funny thing was, upon seeing her, I knew there was something different, and from that verse a dear friend of mine sent me a few days ago, and upon talking to her after service the difference about her was: she spent time cultivating the woman of God she is today-
and she didn't have to say a word for it to be apparent in her life.

Fast-forwarding to tonight, I'm sitting on the couch in my living room reading (one of my seven books designated to be completed this summer), and suddenly, plain as day, 1 Peter 3:4 came to my mind, and God asked: "How do you think developing that spirit comes about?" Instantly I noticed my surroundings. Television: off. Music: off. Fresh green tea by my side...curled up...just reading. Quietly. Even though this particular passage in 1 Peter 3 is specifically discussing wives...I believe this truth applies to both men and women:

Developing the ability to listen does not come about from only wanting to talk and be heard.
Developing strength and endurance does not come about from watching life go by, afraid to make mistakes and take steps forward.
Personally I've had to learn this one: Learning to be still and quiet does not come about from constantly running around on errands, television, the internet, or other random, un/intentional distractions that just make a whole lot of noise.

Regardless of what area in my life I may be asking God to help me grow in, from that ability to listen to being still and quiet, it will not come about if I continue to throw myself in circumstances and situations that are the complete opposite of where I'm trying to grow. Sometimes we're better at building up our own roadblocks to moving forward better than anyone else is. It comes down to those times awaiting in the presence of God and that being the place where the transformation takes place.

I leave that with you, dear reader, and for now, I must retreat to bed...before 11 (which is shocking in itself). Have a wonderful rest of your week!

God Bless,

JB

A Painting in An Art Gallery

2011-06-11T01:53:00.007-05:00

For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.- Ephesians 2:10

Dear Reader,

Hitting the "New Post" button before beginning this entry was probably more exciting than it should have been. Needless to say, I've missed writing.

For the past month I've been with an incredible team on a mission trip in Bimini, Bahamas...another reason why my entries disappeared for a little while from the world wide web. There were teams also in India, Africa, West-Coast USA, and Germany. Without going into endless pages worth of re-living the past month, I'll simply say for starters: God did the unexpected and more in ways I will never forget on this trip. I would like to take you into what God taught me over the course of that month, and what He is continuing to teach me today. I'm sure I won't be able to get all of it out, but be patient with me :)

The verse from Ephesians I started out this post with I found one day during the trip sitting on the couch in our apartment...completely unsure of where to start reading for the day. Coming back home and re-reading that verse again now brings this image to mind:

Imagine an art gallery. You have hundreds of spectators and buyers looking at all of the art on the wall. Now, I've never been to New York City, but lets place the gallery there. The artist has been around for a while, and has continuously produced the best work around. The opening for the artist's work has started and every buyer is going through the gallery wondering which piece of art they wanted to buy. You see some leaning over to one another pointing and nodding at some paintings, giving away a potential sale. Then you see the artist wandering around the gallery, and suddenly see him stop. Behind him are more buyers, unaware of his presence, criticizing his work. They badger the colors used, the shapes of the images on the canvass, and the overall message behind the work. The artist's smile fades for a while...not saddened because of a lost sale...but because the spectators failed to see the beauty he saw in his work. The showing continues, and the artist moves on amidst the crowd.

I realized along the course of the trip that I was no better than the buyers and spectators, except for the art I was criticizing was myself. Some days, I would see my value, where as other days, I had nothing good to say. All the while, the Artist, God Himself, was walking right beside me, listening to everything I was saying, but the fact that I was forming an opinion about myself, His artwork...His masterpiece...that was not what He saw, saddened Him. It is not, and never will be my place to say how much a piece of God's artwork is worth, even if it is myself. Everything He creates, is in turn a piece of Him and was made for His glory.

I'd like to leave you with this poem I wrote about a year ago entitled "Masterpiece":

Masterpiece

I’ve desired to paint a picture of grace.
With a brush founded with strength,
and water to wash away the filth,
to create a new sense of nobility.
As my brush begins to form its masterpiece,
another Hand takes control.
I’ve lost my power with this masterpiece,
and now that I’ve let go, it can truly come to life.
His eye for beauty surmounts my own.
He paints with passion beyond measure,
and has taught me how to shape,
the mountains of my spirit
and the breath sustaining soul.
The sun beats down upon the earth,
which hold the lively waters filled with love.
How gloriously He shapes the grasses,
with each and every blade,
glowing with the dews of Heaven,
and singing songs of mystery.
The canvass filling up with all,
of His mighty wondrous ways.
The brush never seemed to tire,
or lose any of its shape.
Every color spell-binding the image,
never dulling or losing power.
I set the brush down, His hand now over mine.
For this masterpiece would never fade,
but only blossom with time.

YOU, dear reader, are God's masterpiece.

Endlessly He paints, and creates new artwork, not just with people, but in opportunities, dreams, places, and life itself. Don't miss out on His gallery of work He wants to show you...

LIVE OUT this truth, and see the all of good things He has had planned.

God Bless,

JB

Hope in a Chest

2011-03-13T22:18:00.003-05:00

"Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is a strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame."- Song of Songs 8:6

Dear Reader,

Spring Break I would say has "officially" started for me. I am also glad to say, that I can (somewhat) call myself no longer GPS dependent. Although only a straight-2-hour-shot from college back home, trust me, it was an accomplishment to do so with good ol' printed off directions (and discovering "street view" on Google Maps was a revelation to me).

Sitting in my room back home, I suddenly became in a state of not knowing what I was thinking or wanting to do. I knew I wanted to do something...but I could not pinpoint what exactly it was. For whatever odd reason, I thought of my hope chest. The one thing I did not ever even think of bringing to college with me, and never will. What was funny about it all was, I nearly forgot I even had one. Why it decided to suddenly cross my mind was beyond me. I walked slowly over to my nightstand and opened the wicker basket woven doors. There it was.

I opened it not knowing what to expect. Oh, all of the things that needed to be added to it since I last looked in it! It felt like a freight train had hit me when I was sifting through cards from my eighteenth birthday. I found a card from my grandmother. I thought I had the last one, and yet in this little hope chest there was another jewel from her life. The deeper I dug, the harder it became. It was a few moments later when I unfolded a stapled stack of five or so pages with my name signed on the first. As I began to thumb through them, I saw the words, "By the time I'm 19..."

I froze. This couldn't be "one of those lists." What list was this? As I read the words before me I was overcome with shock and amazement. It was more than a list of "I want to go skydiving" or "I want to eat at a five star restaurant". This was a list of dreams...things that were out of my control, that would involve some serious life and heart changes to take place to happen. When I reached the end of what I wanted to happen "by the time I'm 19" I heard the kindest voice say something along the lines of:

"I never forgot about this..."

I felt it so strongly upon my heart that it felt like just what that verse above reads. A seal upon my heart. A protective, loving, covering over everything that I treasured DEEPLY down within me that over time I had allowed to be clouded over, had been there all along. I am 19 now, and as I read over the list, each and every thing had transpired that I had written down. It was none other than God Himself. I'm sure He knows (obviously) by now that His daughter has quite a poor memory. The hope chest I hadn't thought about in ages, but one thing He showed me was this:

When He says He knows our innermost being...the fact that He created those innermost things...He sure means it. And even if you or I tend to forget those things that we cherished most, no matter how small they are, He never forgets them, just like He so graciously reminded me of tonight. There was such an overwhelming flow of love coming out of that hope chest, from Him, into me crying out, "There is SO much more to go and add to this."

If that small little box holds eighteen years worth of desires and goals and dreams, imagining what else could be put in there over the next who knows how many years is a mystery to me. The one thing that matters is, just as a seal He protects each and every one,

and He remembers and cares for them all.

God Bless,

JB

Oh, and why THAT picture? The view would be incredible to see right about now :)

Hand In Hand

2011-03-09T22:53:00.005-06:00

"The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength."- Isaiah 58:11

Dear Reader,

It has been far too long.

Two months is as long as I think I've ever gone without writing something on here. If I could best describe why, it would be that verse above from Isaiah.

My own well became dry.

Looking at my keyboard each day and knowing it was crying out did nothing but make me run away from it. I can't even say it was writer's block. With all that has been going on in this journey with God, I should have been able to sit down and write something...but it wasn't until tonight that it finally wanted to come out. In the car on the way to a restaurant, my friend leaned over and said, "Have you ever thought about writing for _insert school newspaper here_?" I looked at him and said something along the lines of, "As of right now, no." The thought had never really crossed my mind and sank in. As I mentioned before, the thought of writing just frustrated me, because I wasn't sure what was supposed to be written at all. I asked him why, and he said, "Well...I knew you liked to write, so I thought I would ask."

That was it ladies and gentleman.

I knew then that I couldn't sit and procrastinate any longer. So here I am, in the hallway of my dorm, headphones in, Bible at hand, sitting on an over-sized neon green pillow, while wrapped in a blanket, typing as fervently as I can before my thoughts and laptop battery die.

If I could leave one thing with you out of the countless thoughts that are going through my mind now is this: there is nothing like experiencing the hand of the Lord, taking hold of yours, and walking before you.

The best way I can describe this is that for quite some time I have been bringing God along with me, instead of me going along with Him. I would say, "Alright God, here we go," and go right on to doing what had to be done for the day and He was there saying, "Why don't you come this way?"

A leader on the floor wrote on the board (also in our hallway as I am), Proverbs 16:9. "We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps." Ever since that verse has been carving its way deeper and deeper into my heart. How many days have I made plans to get things done, and they not get done? How many times had I tried to go about doing things running off of who knows how little of sleep, and would only end up succumbing to laziness? Too many. Each time it was ME, not God. He doesn't sit there in Heaven and say, "Ok, Jessica, wear yourself out. I don't want to help you." He's been waiting and calling after me to just lay it down before His feet. Not just my schoolwork. Not just what had recently been "burdening" me...but everything. And not just "everything" that can come to mind immediately, like, "Yes, Jessica, my family, my schoolwork, friends, relationships...everything right?" For me it came down to my joy, my mindset, my priorities, my everything. God dug deep into the depths of every fiber of "everything" that I didn't even realize was there and said, "Let Me help you. Let Me lead you."

I was definitely in a dry place. Musically, songs came and faded. Writing, words ran out of my mind as quickly as they had come. My everything had not yet become HIS everything...and I encourage you dear reader to have that time with Him where you ask, "Who's leading, Lord? Me? Or You?" My answer was me at times, and even those "at times" was just enough for more dry spots to develop, and now, He has taken me to a higher place. He has taken me and lifted me up to where He is and says, "Do you see what I see, Jessica?" Even then my eyes are only seeing so much, and my vision, thanks to Him is becoming clearer every day. I have a ways to go, but what it comes down to is:

in my wasteland, He made a spring,
and in my wandering, He took the lead.

It is a beautiful place to be.
Let Him lead,
I promise He won't let you down.

Blessings,

JB

I Ponder Your Direction

2010-12-31T14:47:00.006-06:00

Dear Reader,

This will be my 80th post as well as the last post of 2010. I truly don't believe that the timing could have been any better.

Instead of the "usual" entry, I wanted to leave you with this poem for the new year.

I Ponder Your Direction

I come to you with no clever answer
to the meaning of life and its intricacies.
I come to you with no thought of depth
as to where paths go that cannot be seen.
Do know that I come to you with humility,
for all that has come to pass.
Though man's time ticks on
I insist on seeing this.
That though my hands have been withered with labor,
it has not been in vain,
for where they reached was not my gain.
They have been restored anew, stronger and built,
for greater works to come.
That though my mind has toiled with lies and truths
and lies and truths,
it has been given an endless land of peace,
for though I know not everything,
I've received wisdom to discern what comes.
That though my feet have calloused from walking unknown roads,
and have bled from lack of comfort,
I have seen and crossed the finish line...for now, this season,
for though this raced has ended,
I wait and position for the whistle to blow again.
That though my words have had to quiet themselves,
I have spoken love and care,
and apologies all the same,
for although I have felt a word's harsh sting,
mine now by grace do comfort bring.
That though my eyes have witnessed impurity,
after impurity and impurity,
they have seen the splendor of a sight from within,
for despite the twisted ways of things not known,
my eyes can rest in beauty that encompasses the ripples of life.
That though my ears have heard deception,
and caused me to strain at what was real,
I have heard the reality of a Word that live forever,
as the grass withers, flowers fade...oh, what poetry it brings,
for though they wither and fade,
through The Word my ears shall hear again.
That though my heart beats wildly, endlessly,
at each breath, treasured moment, intimate embrace,
I have not failed to see the glory of His face.
Days may pass my brother,
tears may fall my sister,
but no matter the minute, the hour, the day, the year,
He is the same always, forever, eternity, unchanging.
Never fickle, nor fault, or fail,
but everlasting, unfathomable, and honorable in every way.
Be mindful of time and how it fades as the grass,
and our bodies how they wither as the flower,
but that there is a God that lives and breaths,
at each...passing...hour,
and that in Heaven He awaits and says,
My children! As your ears they hear, your hands they reach,
your feet they run, your mouths they speak, your hearts they beat,
your minds they think, and eyes to see,
do not forget or fail to see,

they all began with Me.

~As written by Jessica Brown
December 31, 2010

"I pondered the direction of my life, and I turned to follow Your laws."
Psalm 119:59

Have a blessed New Year everyone!

Books, Bicycles, and Time

2010-12-26T00:13:00.003-06:00

Dear Reader,

Although technically it is 18 minutes past Christmas in good ol' Central Time...Merry Christmas to all :)

So, this entry coming to you at, yet again, a late and very odd hour of the night is because of the decision to not watch a movie as I originally planned, and instead read this book that I've had in hand all break that was gradually starting to collect dust. This was not going to happen on my watch. Elisabeth Elliot in her book Passion and Purity kept me going for a while. I was flying through this book like none other until one particular thing she said stuck out to me and decided to take hold of my heart as well as my vivid imagination, and give me a whirlwind of excitement all the the same time.

"The bicycle given for Christmas will not be prized like the bicycle bought with the money earned by delivering newspapers for three years (147)."

(The Christmas reference...was definitely not intended dear reader. I just realized it myself as I was writing it)

Anyways, the first thing I pictured was a bike. Obviously. My mind went reeling on the two different scenarios that she mentioned. The first scenario: A child that receives a bike for Christmas. I saw the typical image of the parents taking their child out to the garage and wa la! A brand new bike. There is much screaming of excitement and endless hugs and kisses of thanks.

Then there is scenario number two. Yes, who knows how long it's been since I've seen someone deliver a newspaper, but go along with me dear reader. A kid walking from house to house throwing the same paper, to the same doorsteps he's been throwing them on for years. It's hot outside, the day has come and gone, and upon his arrival home, as he goes to throw his wages into his drawer, he realizes that it landed a little closer to the top than usual. There wasn't the usual rattling of change at the bottom. He takes out his can of wages and counts. Slowly but surely , the anticipation builds when finally the last dollar is set upon his bed comforter, confirming his completed savings for the bike he'd been wanting. I started to see him slowly but surely carry that money to the counter the next day. He'd been guarding it with all he had until he reached the store. Asking the store manager to take him to the bike, he does all he can to hide his joy from exploding into a thousand different directions. Year after year came down to the one moment, where he rode down the street, throwing the same newspaper, to the same doorsteps, proud to start all over again.

I did not intend for this entry to be about a child receiving a bike. Please know though that the second scenario (if you couldn't tell) was much more fun an enjoyable for me to simply write than the first. Why? I could understand how that boy felt waiting all that time. Who hasn't gone through something like that? I don't know about you dearest reader, but there are many things in which I am waiting on an answer or confirmation from God about. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. I almost want to get that feeling like I would sitting in my car waiting on a horrendously long light to change. But, my heart will not allow such a thing to happen.

I have written this entry to you dear reader not to say that whatever is being waited for is the most fulfilling part...but there is fulfillment, beauty, excitement, mystery, and anticipation in the waiting itself. I imagine many things in life would be very, very boring if they were simply handed to me at my beck and call. If there was no work to be done, or time to pass in whatever was to come, the joy would be stifled at the result. I believe that is one thing God has yet again shown me that I have previously failed to see. The things He has told me, I wish I could convey them all to you, dear reader, but I would be as David in not being able to, "...recite all of [His] wonderful deeds (Psalm 40:5)." But when He showed me a few of those things I've said, "Wait a minute God, aren't you going to finish? There's an answer to this right?"

His answer, "Yes."
Exactly what it may be He hasn't show me...

yet.

"And so, lord, where do I put my hope? My hope is only in you."- Psalm 30:7
And so, it is. My hope is in Him for whatever is to come, but I will not be idle, bitter, or weary as I wait. Instead, dear reader, my hope and my all will be in Him.

God Bless and once again, Merry Christmas,

JB

Open Gifts and Open Hearts

2010-12-20T21:28:00.007-06:00

Dear Readers,

Five more days until Christmas!

This is the final week of "Sharing Christmas" and I must say that these entries truly have given me something new to look forward to on Mondays. The question posed this week: How do you keep CHRIST in Christmas? I couldn't see this answer or answer this question for myself until I learned to not think about myself so much. I had to learn how to give back.

Being home from college for the first time for over a week has opened up a wide window of one endless thing: time. No classes. No homework. No schedule. I didn't know what to do with myself for the first few days whatsoever. It felt strange to even go through the channels on TV. The most TV watching I had done was seeing a glimpse of whatever was on in passing of another person's dorm room. God decided to take this time and do some pulling on my heart. He started asking me to do little things. Conversations went a little something like this:

Heart tug. Heart tug. Heart tug.

"Ok, God. I see the dirty dishes in the sink, and this is my first time in the kitchen today. Can't I eat?"

Silence.

"Do the dishes first?"

"Yes."

They weren't exactly lengthy conversation. They were small and even sometimes unspoken. These little things weren't forced upon me or grudgingly done. I just couldn't understand what was going on. They didn't seem important, and would have been done eventually. But there was a drastic transformation that God started doing in my heart.

"Our people must learn to do good by meeting the urgent needs of others; then they will not be unproductive."- Titus 3:14

Conversation after conversation later I read this verse last night in my bed and couldn't help but smile. It finally made sense. Here I had been all break asking God, "What am I going to do? How am I going to help? Please, give me something to do so I'm not being completely lazy and idle." He had been giving me "something to do" all along. He was preparing me for an "urgent" need. In other words, God had to teach me to give in the small things before He openly laid before me something greater than I ever imagined. At that point, there will be no thinking twice about it, no matter what it was I had to give.

"For God loved the world so much that he gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life."- John 3:16.

The Ultimate Giver is God Himself. He gave His Son, who gave His life, to give love so then all who followed Him would be able to give as well: our love, our passions, our gifts, our everything to bring glory to His name. What good is it to hold it back?

"Do not withold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it"-Proverbs 3:27

Remember Christ this Christmas season in all you do to those around you,

and have a very Merry Christmas.

God Bless,

JB

Those Lights So High

2010-12-13T15:21:00.004-06:00

Dear Reader,

It is another Monday of "Sharing Christmas" with At the Well. I'm sitting in my favorite coffee shop back home, headphones in, a frozen white chocolate mocha, and a brownie which is too good for words (and was also the first thing I've eaten today from waking up very late this afternoon). When I realized it was Monday, I couldn't help but smile. What perfect timing it was to be writing this entry while enjoying one of the many comforts of home. I hope you enjoy :)

This week, we are supposed to be writing about how we decorate for Christmas. I must say that this coffee shop I'm in now is decorated more than my own house. I don't say this with disappointment, but in good humor, that of all weeks to be talking about decorations, ours aren't even up...yet.

Every year my brother and I put up the Christmas tree together. It has never been a huge family event, but when we do, we do have a good time in the process. I can't even tell you, dear reader, what ornaments we have at home sitting in that box of decorations that are waiting to be put on the tree. That's one surprise I thoroughly enjoy every year when we open that box up. It's as though the ornaments are brand new and we get the honor of putting each and every one of them up (and definitely "up" high enough so our dog can't get to them). Sitting here writing this to you now, I realized something that took place last night, that I hadn't taken the time to enjoy in quite some time.

Going to school in a bigger city than here at home, I can't see the stars very well. It saddens me every time I'm there because here at home, they can't be missed. You can walk outside as soon as it starts getting dark, look up, and see an array of lit wonders covering the sky. Last night, despite it being 20-something degrees out, I bundled up in my biggest coat and a blanket, and went out on my roof for a while. I just sat there and talked with God until my face couldn't take being cold any longer. In doing so, all I could do when looking at the stars was be in awe. What a...tall ladder it would take to reach all the way of to the sky and "hang" all of those stars. I thought of Abraham trying to count them all when God told him that his descendants would number the stars and more. I laughed and smiled, thanking Him every time a shooting star went flying above me. God, once again, didn't cease to amaze me.

As God decorates the sky with endless amounts of stars, He does the same within my heart and soul. He decorates and covers my heart in His love, grace, and mercy. Except, these decorations are not annual. He continuously changes them as my life goes on when I learn something new, give Him praises, worship Him boldly, submit unto His will, confess my wrongdoings, and humbly express my gratitude and reverence. Decorating a tree to what God does in my life, and the lives of all His children, is incomparable. I am thankful to say that during this season, He begins to show Himself to me even more.

How do you decorate for Christmas dear reader?
and
How has God done His own handy-work in Your life?

Blessings and peace I pray for you and once again, Merry Christmas :)

God Bless,

JB

Early Morning Rising...and Pajamas

2010-12-06T21:03:00.009-06:00

Dear Reader,

Well, this will be my first entry for the "Sharing Christmas" series through At the Well!
Enjoy :)

When it comes to Christmas traditions, I've noticed that with my family, we like to keep it simple...really simple. Aside from eating incredibly good, homemade food, and just being home with one another, there is one thing that I've noticed we do every single Christmas morning.

We wear our pajamas around the house...all day.

I have no idea why we do this. My own tradition is that I always have on my bright red, snowman covered pajama pants. They're much too big, but I have not the slightest care in the world. I guess this may sound like a silly Christmas tradition, but there is something sweet about it that just now came across my mind.

My family is comfortable around one another. We have this comfort because of the love that we share for each other as well. My Mom could be watching football. My Step-dad could be working. My brother could be playing video games. I could be watching a movie. At the end of the day, there is one thing that I know is in my family, and that is love.

I have also realized that my Mom asks the same question every single year before my brother and I will start opening gifts. I don't think she means to do it. She just does. She'll ask, "Jess. Jordan. Now, you remember the real meaning behind Christmas right?"
My brother and I will always say yes, but it is now that I see for myself why my Mom says it. Sometimes, we'll move so fast through life that we forget the bigger meaning behind things. With Christmas for example, my brother and I have consistently been excited about gifts, despite our age. It's a ray of being a kid again that decides to show itself for just a few moments. My Mom though, has not failed to make us stop and think...even if just for a few moments. I don't want to move so fast through my life that I don't see the bigger things. I don't want to wake up in my dorm room and forget that even going to college is a blessing. I don't want to be with my family and forget that they may not be there forever, but while they are here, they are a firm foundation in my life. I don't want to think of Christmas and forget the birth of Jesus Christ.

I don't want to think of Jesus Christ and forget that He died because of a love that is unfathomable and unconditional, for "a wretch like me."

So what is my family's Christmas tradition?
We wear our pajamas all day,
in comfort,
in love,
in celebration,
of one another,
in this season,
in remembrance of Him,
and all that He is.

"When they saw the star, they rejoiced exceedingly with great joy."-Matthew 2:10

God Bless,

JB

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

2010-12-04T20:19:00.003-06:00

Greetings dearest readers!

Thanks to my dear friend and fellow blogger Rachelle I will be participating in a blog-wide event called Sharing Christmas. I'm really excited to get started but I wanted to let you all know that I would be joining in on the fun.

For the next three Mondays starting December 6, 2010 I will be writing about different Christmas traditions, decorations, and most importantly, Jesus Christ. If you would like to join in just click here.

Have a blessed holiday season everyone!
I look forward to meeting with you again on Monday.

God Bless,

JB

That Day of Thanks Every Day

2010-11-25T11:39:00.007-06:00

Dear Reader,

I do believe a Happy Thanksgiving is in order, especially after not writing for at least a month :) I pray this day for you is one filled with joy and love.

Last night I was reading Psalm 119, and I am still thinking about it upon waking up this morning. With everything that has been going on as of late, I became overwhelmed with the love of and for God that was pouring out of the pages. I began to think about the things that I love outside (since I've been spending a considerable amount of time out there the past few days) from the trees even to ladybugs (that have suddenly decided to pay me visits quite a bit). Then I realized that the same God that made those things, great and small, made the tiny, beating little heart in me. He made my own heart to love.

Your laws are my treasure; they are my heart's delight."- Psalm 119:111

This very verse made my heart stop. I began to realize that without God, not only would I be nothing, but I would have very little to treasure in my life: whatsoever. I would not have the overflowing of His love, I would not have my dear family, I would not have my closest of friends that surround me in laughs and support-

I would not have many things close to my heart.

I see that I am thankful not only for God's love, but for how He has used each and every person in my life individually in distinct ways. Each and every one of us, His children, has not only the ability to love, but to express that love through the thankfulness that is already coursing through our hearts. This is the first holiday that will be celebrated without my grandmother. Not only is she celebrating in a much better place than here on this earth, but her words she left behind are also a hidden treasure within my heart. She said once:

"Be thankful for where you are, but don't forget the bridge that carried you across."

There are many, many, pieces of my bridge, that I can only begin to write a fraction of in this blog, but do know that in your own life, there are many pieces as well. Take the time to discover, be thankful for, and show that thankfulness through love to each part.

I am thankful for God's abounding love.
I am thankful for each and every person He's brought into my life.
I am thankful for the ability to love.
I am thankful for the fact that there is something to be thankful for every day, not just on Thanksgiving.
I am thankful that seasons can change, because it allows me to see snow on the first time for Thanksgiving :)

I am thankful to be thankful;
it's a beautiful treasure indeed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

God Bless,

JB

Wake Up Wednesday

2010-10-13T16:20:00.007-05:00

Dear Reader,

Wednesday. It's the middle of the week just after what seems like the longest day of the week (Tuesday), and the day before the "just one more day left" day (Thursday). Usually Wednesday is my most calm day of the week. It is also usually my "wake up and smell the coffee" days, where I happen to think about something that hadn't quite dawned on me yet- and it happens to stick: hence the title Wake Up Wednesday.

This Wednesday, I woke up with something on my mind that I had read last night in my Bible. Jeremiah 29:11.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

I had hit the point where reading it was almost nothing. It didn't seem new to me. I was even given a door hanger for graduation with the very same verse on it. The fact that it wasn't new and exciting worried me a bit. How is it that something so true, relevant, and inspiring became old? Sure, I've heard the verse a number of times, but for it to get "old" made me wonder. Why stop at that verse? Why settle for just knowing it and having heard it on end, and actually engrave it into my heart (Psalm 40:8)? I then felt like I should keep reading. So I did.

"In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you,” says the Lord. “I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land.”- Jeremiah 29:12-14

Then something literally did wake up inside of me. The following verses as well as verse 11 all tied together beautifully. With every word I read, and every word I spoke unto God in prayer, not only did He hear those prayers and kept them close to His heart, but every discovery I make of Him is new. His Word, His Presence- every part of Him never simply "gets old." Seeking after Him is continuous (Matthew 7:7-11). Now what am I going to do to continue seeking? What am I going to do to continue discovering more new things about Him?

I encourage you, dear reader, to never let things get "old". Every day is a new day because it's a blessing. It's a new opportunity to strive for something greater and give more than you've given before. Waking up is more than hitting the snooze button on the alarm clock multiple times. Waking up opens up the start of not only a new day, but the chance to do and discover something different, by taking one more step out of our comfort zone, and being willing to boldly venture out toward what is ahead.

God Bless,

JB

STOP and Learn. Part III.

2010-09-13T10:38:00.004-05:00

"On the glorious splendor of your majesty, and on your wondrous works, I will meditate."- Psalm 145:5

Dear Reader,

Greetings again! I'm still getting into the swing of college, and writing entries has gradually become more and more spaced out. Finally, this much anticipated window of time opened up for me to sit down and write again, so I decided to take advantage of it. I'll be finishing up the last part of the series "STOP".

Since the last entry, there have been countless things roaming around in my head about what on earth this last part was going to be about. I don't know about any of my fellow writers and bloggers out there, but there came a point for me where I felt like I had written about every last thing I could write about. Formally, this is probably better known as writer's block. Simply sitting down at the computer now, brought about this part, without an intense amount of pondering. It simply came to mind.

Over the past few weeks I've learned a lot of things about myself that I never thought would happen. For example, my Mom would always talk to me about budgeting my money. I didn't exactly get the concept of it when it came between my favorite meal at Red Lobster and the twenty dollar bill crying out from my back pocket. As silly as it sounds, I merely though it was for "grown ups", as if I had some immunity to it. Wrong. I was horribly wrong. As soon as I stepped on campus I fell right into the mold of rejoicing when something was "buy one get one free". Wal-Mart shopping turned me into "Martha Jessica Stewart", where I became savvy with deciding whether or not something was worth it Great Value or brand name. Call me crazy, but it didn't hit me that all along my Mom was teaching me something. My willingness to learn wasn't there at first, but eventually it came.

Aside from this dear reader, there are other things God has revealed to me about the innermost parts of my character and who I am. They weren't exactly the "prettiest" of things, and over time will take a lot of correction and patience to mend. The biggest difference I've grown to understand between just hearing a concept and living it out, is that it is when I live it out that I truly LEARN from it. I take the time to STOP and put my own ideals aside and give God the freedom to move through me, instead of every now and then handing Him the steering wheel of my life. Is it easy? Goodness no. There have been times where I didn't feel like learning. I just wanted to keep going and going in what I was already doing. What I am encouraging you discover, dear reader, is learning it itself. LEARN not just from God, but from the people that have been placed in your life. Be willing to listen and fully comprehend what may be laid on your heart. I am speaking to myself as well, and am asking you take this journey with me-

because God is the great instructor of our souls,
counselor of our lives,
and lover of our complete selves

in all that we do.

God Bless,
JB

STOP and Practice. Part II.

2010-08-17T21:09:00.006-05:00

"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."- Proverbs 31:30

Dear Reader,

On August 9, 2010 my grandmother joined our Heavenly Father above, celebrating in His Kingdom at the age of 90 full, lovingly passionate years. When I found out the next day, I wasn't sure exactly how to take it, and to this day, I'm still unsure of how to "handle it". The one thing that has kept me going has been re-placed into my heart as of Monday, the day of the funeral, thanks to my Uncle. I would like to share it with you. I didn't recognize that it had always been in my heart until he said:

"Honey Gran, was one who practiced the presence of God."

When he asked me what I thought he meant, I gave my explanation as best as I could. My answer wasn't wrong but it wasn't "right" either. What he explained to me, dear reader, was that my grandmother in everything she did, she thought on, dwelt within, and acted on the presence of God. Whether she cooked, talked to a dear friend on the phone, cheered during an NBA game, or even ironed a plethora of clothes- she wholeheartedly fulfilled the meaning of 1 Corinthians 10:31.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

This revelation brought me back to a story I shared at the funeral service.

When I was little (exact age is yet to be remembered), I will never forget one morning I was up much earlier than everybody else. I ventured downstairs to see what my grandmother was doing. I saw the bathroom door closed with the light on, wondering on earth what she would be doing. I creaked the door open just enough to peek inside. There was my grandmother, kneeling beside the chair, eyes closed, mouth moving, and completely transfixed on something that was beyond my understanding at the time. My first reaction: run as fast as you can. I closed the door as quickly and quietly as I could, and bolted back up the stairs.

The next morning, even more curious, I did the same thing, and without fail, there she was again, up before everyone else, beside the chair the same way she was the previous day. This experiment for me went on for the next week, and finally I recognized, early in the morning, do not disturb Honey Gran in the bathroom. Today, I see that it wasn't that she was in the bathroom for no apparent reason than just kneeling strangely by a chair-

she STOPPED, and for the first precious moments of her day, surrendered herself, and every second that would pass thereafter, to God, through prayer, love, and dedication.

She practiced the presence of God.

When I first think of "practice" I think of a ritual. I think of something that is done merely for the enhancement of a talent, task or personal goal. This kind of practice went far beyond that. It transcended into all of the thing she did throughout her day, as I mentioned before. I used to think that the Proverbs 31 woman was hard to achieve. A woman out there in the world had to be perfect and was specially designed to take on that role.

My grandmother wasn't perfect, but she recognized it before the throne of God, and gave up herself to allow Him to mold her into that woman and more. She was a Mother to everyone she met, whether it be through a lifetime or a brief moment. Over the past few months she wasn't just my grandmother, but was becoming a close friend as well.

What I am giving to you, dear reader is a piece of her in my heart to you. STOP and take the time to practice the presence of God in your life
every day,
every moment,
every task,
every thought,
and every part of your being.

My Honey Gran taught me this, and with that lesson, it is engraved in my heart for the rest of my life. This entry is in dedication to her. My prayers and thoughts are with you, dear reader wherever you are, whatever you are doing.

With His love...

God Bless,

JB

Stop.

2010-08-12T20:14:00.006-05:00

"The Lord has established His throne in the Heavens, and His Kingdom rules over all."-Psalm 103:19

Dear Reader,

Hola! It has been a long time. It's been too long. I am officially moved in successfully on campus, with a few mores steps to do with registration. Now, is one of the few times (thus far), that I can sit down and get these reeling thoughts out of my head. I pray they touch your heart, and I personally hope many blessings come your way. I've missed writing greatly.

I believe I'm going to make these next few entries a series simply called "Stop." This would be considered Part 1. I don't know how long it will be, but overall, it will be about what God has reminded me to "Stop." and think about for the past week amidst the chaos of getting ready for classes, registration finalization, etc. Let's get started shall we?

Today was the first time I was able to escape to the Prayer Tower on campus since school has started. "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:" is from Ecclesiastes 3:1. I strongly believe in my heart that today during that time in the Prayer Tower was a divine appointment for me and God. This whole transition to college has caused me to run around like a mad woman but the one thing I forgot to do was STOP. I was allowing myself to get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of things going on around me that STOPPING didn't seem like an option. On the way to the Prayer Tower, I realized I had forgotten my iPod. Usually during my "Quiet Time" I would have it playing softly in my ears while reading or writing in my journal. Something made me not want to run back to the dorm to get it (besides it being insanely hot outside). I'm glad I didn't.

I entered the room not exactly knowing what to do. There was only one other person in there, and by no means did I feel uncomfortable, but yet again, something began to tug on my heart to just go in, find a spot and kind of claim it as my own for a while. Get comfortable, Jessica. Rest. STOP. As I began to write in my journal a whirlwind of emotions began to flood over me. Despite the instrumental music barely playing in the background, it was as though the room was completely silent. New revelations were being laid on my heart, that I wasn't allowing myself to let blossom in the midst of the week's events. God was telling me things that I had told myself countless times just to keep myself going, but hearing these things from Him made the world of a difference.

I had finally allowed myself to STOP and sit in His Presence.

Every person that came in at one point caught my attention. I would lift up a prayer for them, whether or not I knew their name. Any whisper or cry out to God they made brought chills over me. I was completely overwhelmed by His Presence, in silent, unintentional, yet impacting and intimate fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ. Each of us in our own realm with Him. Each of us were in His Presence.

Each of us took the time to STOP.

Dear reader, what I tell you now is to not let that hustle and bustle get the best of you. Don't get so caught up into it that you forget to STOP and listen to God's Voice. Don't get so caught up into it that you forget to sit still in God's Presence and rest in all of His mercy, and glory. I forgot. He reminded me. He loved me. He loves every single part of His creation, and this includes YOU. All He's waiting for us to do is:

STOP.

God Bless,
JB

Butterflies.

2010-07-16T23:20:00.005-05:00

"Call to me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known."- Jeremiah 33:3

Dear Reader,

Bonjour!
I like that much better than the typical, hello.

I come to you now at nearly 11:30...pm...and of all things thinking about butterflies.
Call me crazy if you must.

I've been going outside with my dog quite a bit for the past week since I have been home by myself for quite a large majority of the day. Parents are working. Brother is at camp. I am home. The dog barks. We go outside.

In doing so, for about three days straight I noticed one of the strangest things. Two butterflies. Now, I honestly didn't think much of it the first day. I went outside with my dog, as usual, and thought to myself, "Butterflies. Cool. I'll miss those quite a bit in a few weeks." Then I went right back to normal.

Day two of this week, the same two butterflies. Next thought: "Butterflies. Again. The same ones? No, it couldn't be."

Day three topped it off. Again, I go outside and there are the same two butterflies, flying around in the same spot as they had been the past few days.

That caught my attention.

Now, as much as I like being outside, if you know me well, I absolutely detest bugs of any kind. If they keep their distance, I'm fine. Otherwise, any form of buzzing near me will result in me doing some severe swatting (which also results in me looking quite ridiculous from a distance, and even more fearfully so up close). All these times in taking my dog out, which as I said before is a pretty normal thing, I would encounter many buzzing, furry, small, who-knows-what creatures that found it amusing to give me a hard time. The butterflies had something else in mind.

I was about to throw the tennis ball for my dog when I feel something brush against my ear making a small fluttering sound. Natural reaction for Jessica: Something is by my face. Swat it. So I proceeded in doing so, but I'm glad I missed. I spun around and saw that one of the butterflies just decided to pay a visit. It wasn't until I figured out what exactly it was that made the sound, that I realized it didn't bother me so much. Instead of the obnoxious buzzing sound, for the first time, it was a flutter. It happened in but a few seconds, but all the more, it was a sigh of relief from the usual flies, wasps, and bees.

I tell you this story about fluttering butterflies because the more I think of it now at such a late hour, the more I realize that sometimes God also pays visits in the most seemingly small, but very crucial ways. The verse above, Jeremiah 33:3, has been on my mind throughout the week as well. I would wonder what kind of "great and hidden things" God would have to tell me. Would it involve my future? Something happening in the life of someone I didn't know in order to love on them? Was it an answer to a question I didn't even know I wanted an answer to? What on earth would these things be?

It came to me now that a lot of times there are things buzzing past my face in life that are a lot like the flies, the wasps, and the bees. In the end, I wanted nothing to do with them, and was much better off not having them around in the first place. These things may be something discouraging someone will say to me, a rude comment a stranger may make, a lie someone told, or "just one of those" bad days that decided to creep around the corner. Through it all though, I think God, His Voice, is a lot like the butterflies. Sometimes, when something good comes up in my life, I want to "swat" at it first; doubting that such a thing could happen at a time where I may be at my worse. Really though, that good thing was a "fluttering" whisper telling me that everything was going to be ok. He loves me.

There's more to life than just listening to the buzzing sounds.

So I come to you dear reader, asking you to take the time out and see if there are some of these whispers in your life. Whispers of good, that may have come when you least expected it. Whispers of good when you really were at your worse. Instead of brushing them aside, thinking it's too good to be true to happen- embrace them.

God gives us precious gifts big and small, as blessings, and there is nothing better than truly treasuring each and every one.

God Bless,
JB

There is a beauty...

2010-07-13T16:08:00.005-05:00

in freedom.

"So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."- Romans 6:11

Greetings dear readers.
I thought about creating another blog specifically for college, since it's coming up in just a few weeks for me...
then I decided otherwise.
So, this blog, The Daily Wordoscope, will continue having the same premise that it's always had, but if there are some college-freshman-revelations thrown in every now and then, you have been forewarned.
:)

Now for the entry.

I, Jessica, am a soon to be college freshman that is "licenseless."
That's right.
I don't have a driver's license.
Yet.

This may be something the average eighteen year old wouldn't exactly admit to on a whim, let alone on a blog for the world to read. Why did it take so long? What are you waiting for? Why are you sitting at your computer writing this entry, when you should be getting your license?

Let me tell you.

With exams in school, or any kind of test, I honestly become a nervous wreck to the point where if I even think about it, I get all worked up. Even if I study or in this case practice, it happens without fail. Last night, I was fed up with this nonsense. I knew that today I was going to go and re-take my driving test, and I could not stop thinking about it. I wouldn't stop thinking about it. I called the one person I knew could set me straight despite my nerves getting the best of me.

My grandmother.

She picks up the phone and immediately asked what was wrong. I broke down and said how anxious and nervous I was about a silly driving test. I didn't want to fail...again, and college is starting in just over two weeks. One of those weeks I would be out of town. Time was running out. Then she said something that stung, because I didn't want to hear it but needed to- regardless of the current fragile, pathetic state I was in.

"Jessica, if you want your license, stop worrying about it and go get it. Don't you remember how big God is? He's bigger than your worries, the police officer in the car with you, and has gotten you this far. What you need to do is trust Him, and that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. (Phil 4:13)."

That was it. As soon as I got off of the phone with her, the computer shut down, the TV went off and worship music went on, all by myself, in my room, giving up the one thing that had been tearing me down since day one: worry. I believe I've written an entry or two on here before about worrying, but I sure wasn't willing to admit it was something that took over more than I thought it was. Dear reader, this isn't just about me not having a license. It's a piece of encouragement to you, from me, through this experience. I realized last night with much prayer, a lot of crying, and in the end, a joyful heart, that what was going on in my heart was beyond the test. This worry was a bondage that has held onto me for far too long, and I had yet to let it go. It was starting to flow into college expenses, moving dorms, not having a job, etc.

It was becoming a part of life.

I write to you now dear reader, as that same girl I mentioned at the beginning of this entry.
It just so happened that my back brake light on my car was out, so either way I was not able to take the test.
I'm not angry, upset, or sad. I laugh because I can only imagine how ridiculous the ordeal may have sounded, but I truly learned something from it. I could have done one of two things:
a) Allowed worry to take over my heart in my life, and let it suck the very life out of the things most important to me.
b) Surrender it to God, not for my sake, but for His glory.

The license will come eventually :) Before college. The difference is that now it will come with a sense of peace. Not anxiousness.

There is a beauty in freedom from this worry that has held me down for so long,
and without Him, this freedom, would not be possible.
Discover that freedom with Him, and your opportunities, are endless :)

God Bless,
JB

Spinning 'round and 'round...

2010-07-05T19:35:00.006-05:00

with no sight of end.

Greetings dear readers! I hope you had a safe and fun fourth of July! :)
I haven't written a fictional piece on this blog, but it's the only thing that can come to mind as of now, and I pray that it's for good reason. It originated from the verse concluding all of this. God Bless and enjoy.

"Home"

He clearly didn't want to be "it". His friends are nudging him in the side telling him to not be such a chicken. The game wasn't hard. Be blindfolded for a little while. Find everybody else hiding. Easy enough. He gave in, just to get it over with.

The blindfold went on and the spinning began. The point was to make him dizzy. The laughs and jeers grew louder and louder. Out of nervousness he laughed along with them. It was all a game. Just a little dizziness. Somewhere behind the laughs someone clearly didn't find the game as amusing. Something was wrong, and they were clearly making it known. He wanted out. Now. There was no stopping.

Spinning around turned into pushing. He could still hear the one voice telling him to take off the blindfold and declare the game as over. The idea sounded better than the sickness he began to feel in his stomach as well as the jabs in the side he was beginning to feel. He couldn't let it stop though. It wasn't only a game anymore. Now it turned into a cruel joke.

One final push sent him to the ground as the sound of scattering feet faded farther and farther away. There wasn't anymore laughing. He was sore. Maybe this was a part of it all. Maybe this is when he was supposed to search and find everybody else. Yes. He was sure of it. He lifted himself up feeling bruises develop on his arms and back. His arms stretched out blindly searching. It was getting late and he could tell. Minute after minute passed and slowly tears began to fall. Everyone had left. He knew it. He sunk to the ground weeping, blindfold and all. What seemed a game was far from it. He had been left and pushed beyond the bruises. He had been pushed, tattered, and left to slowly wither within his own hurting heart.

Wait. What was that? A voice? Surely everyone had left. He sat up, now alert. This voice was so familiar. This voice had called out to him before. For some reason though he could not seem to move himself toward it. He tried with all of his might and finally, tired, just waited. Then, a hand touched his shoulder and the life returned into his legs. He began to walk, another presence by his side. He felt lighter. His heart lifted. He tried to remove the blindfold and yet it would not budge. The person told him not yet. Persistently he tugged and prodded, and finally tired, left it be. The person kept talking and talking and he tuned him out a while. He tugged at the blindfold some more, and yet again it did not move. Finally tired, he listened.

Soon he was transfixed and hung on every word he said. Not saying anything at all he listened. He smiled and laughed at moments that made him remember better times. He deeply thought about things that had been on his mind that he neglected for quite a while. He stopped. What did this person just say? Why? Why did he do such a thing as let them push him around? He hurt inside again, but not like before. This hurt was weighing him down, not ripping him apart. This hurt made his eyes well up as he fell to his knees and sobbed. The person said nothing. He felt an arm around him and whispered something only he could understand. A stranger would have declared him mad. The voice seemed so soft that the utterance in itself could barely be heard by anyone else but him. The weight began to slowly be taken up off of his heavy heart. He didn't just feel lighter. He felt alive.

He soared within himself to the point where he felt he would explode in every direction. His smile reformed on his face and a powerful love took over his heart. Suddenly he felt this love multiply. Not battered, pushed, or abandoned. He felt loved. He felt true love. Overcome with joy he took the blindfold off, not thinking of the failed attempts before, yet this time, off it came. Tossing it aside, he frantically looked around. Where was this person?

He lifted his eyes ahead of him and saw that he was home. Through the darkness of the night and blindfolded, he was home. How did he get home? He couldn't see! Impossible. Simply impossible, he thought. Then something inside him made his heart beat faster and faster. He remembered what was said to him in the still, whispered voice. He went to dust himself off, only to see that his clothes had somehow been removed of the blood stains. His bruises were healed and even the blindfold disappeared from where it previously lay. Looking up the stairs to the front door, he knew. He remembered. He treasured what had happened. A hand seemed to lightly guide him up the steps on a perfect path that he couldn't see...

He was home.

"I was pushed hard so that I was falling, but the LORD helped me."- Psalm 118:13

(comments open to all)

This Little Light Of Mine...

2010-06-25T16:15:00.006-05:00

I'm Gonna Let It Shine.

I was awarded this Sunshine Award by Rachelle Rae:
Rose's Daring Adventure

Here's the deal: The award's supposed to go to bloggers whose "contagious positivity and creativity inspire others in the blogging universe."

The rules read as follows:
1. Put the logo on the blog within your post.
2. Pass the award on to 12 bloggers.
3. Link to the nominees within your post.
4. Let the nominees know they have received the award by commenting on their blogs.
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received
this award.

...and now I am awarding it to you 12 fantastic Bloggers,
who have affected my life through your work.
Keep up the amazing work,
and continue sharing the gift God gave you with the world.

God Bless!
Jessica

(in no particular order)
1. Bloom!
2. Calling a Dreamer
3. Cupcakes, Sprinkles, and other Happy Things
4. Dear Natalie
5. Forte for Freedom
6. How it Is By Junior Junior
7. jessbu
9. Mrs. Smith's Words of Wisdom
9. Not Perfect - Only Forgiven <3
10. Rhymes and Reasons
11. The Human Door
12. the Journey

Lord I want to yearn...

2010-06-19T15:12:00.005-05:00

for you.

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."- Matthew 5:6

Over the past week or so, God has opened up my heart to so much that I don't even know where to begin. I'll do my best to pin point somewhere, but I think the verse above is a good start.

I will wholeheartedly and humbly admit that there was a point in my life that I could have been very easily categorized as a "Wednesday and Sunday Christian". I went to church, Wednesday and Sundays, got my spiritual "high" that lasted about a week, and eventually it faded off until the next service. What I failed to see at the time was that I wasn't cultivating, replenishing, and seeking for more of what God has given me. I simply just let it sit and drain. It was like the analogy of a cup not being able to pour out what it has within it if it's not full. I was like a cup that was filled, and eventually let my contents vaporize into thin air, instead of onto others, and never allowing myself to be empty, by seeking more of what originally filled me. What happens when this takes place? Well...nothing happens. That's the scary part.

I write to you now, dear reader, with an uncontainable excitement for what God is doing in my life personally with Him. There isn't the feeling of just the Wednesday and Sunday high. It's a genuine selfless journey going after whatever God has in store and giving all that I can to Him in hopes that He'll fill me with more of Himself. I want to re-emphasize what I said a few entries ago: that God longs for us to search for more of Him. What needs to happen first though, is the pouring out of our old selves, to allow Him to fill us, so that He may pour out Himself through us, within others. This process though cannot be done overnight, and it takes a lifetime to maintain and tenderly cherish. God doesn't want a portion of ourselves. "Ok, God I'll give you the movies I watch as long as I can keep my music." or "Alright God I'll read the Bible and all, but living it out is for those radical really Jesus-crazy people." No. God wants all of us, and I say to you now from ongoing experience with Him

there is no greater joy than giving Him the pen of my life and letting Him script all of the radiant details.

There is a song by Shane and Shane that's also been on my mind for a while now, called "Yearn". I'll post them here, for you to take them as you wish. My encouragement and prayer for you, dear reader, is that someday what these words are saying becomes an unfathomable reality in your life.

Yearn for God. You will be satisfied.

:)

"Yearn" by Shane and Shane

Holy design
This place in time
That I might seek your face, my God
My God

Lord Ii want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
Over You, and only You
Lord Ii want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
Over You, and only You
Lord I want to yearn

Your joy is mine
Yet why am i fine
With all my singing and bringing grain
In light of Him

Oh You give life and breath
In You we live and move
That's why I sing

Many blessings.
(comments open to all)

The reason why...

2010-06-12T22:23:00.004-05:00

is this.

"So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."- 1 Corinthians 10:31

Dear Reader of this Blog,

Yesterday, a very good friend of mine asked me this:

"So, Jessica...why do you write?"

Good question.

I realize after posting around 60-something entries about the things God is doing in my life I have yet to write a single one that answers that question. Yesterday, I was able to answer it for him, but there's something about sitting down, and actually writing it, that makes a world of a difference.

Before I go straight into answering that question, let me tell you a story about myself. I'll do my best to summarize:

I'll never forget how strange I was in the third grade. For example: when I got bored in class one day, I cut off all of my eyelashes, and later said they "fell off". Why I figured doing such a thing would de-bore me still boggles my mind to this day. It worked for a good 15 minutes or so. (by the way, the doctor we went to for some reason believed me). Not only that, but whenever the teacher gave us a writing assignment I was on it "like white on rice". My absolute favorite assignments were the free writes. They were the papers that you could write a story about anything our eager third grade minds could think of. I remember writing this story that was a whopping ten pages long. It took me two full class periods and was promptly followed by many blisters on my fingers and a cramped wrist. My poor teacher probably didn't read the whole thing. To this day, I don't think she did. At the time though, I hoped with all my heart she would, but all the while didn't care if she didn't. I was plum happy I wrote it. High school wasn't much different. I'll admit some of that strangeness from the third grade stuck, and to this day, before heading off to college, I still like writing. Even essays. Go figure.
Point to be said: I've always liked writing.

I can tell you though, that I didn't just sit down one day and say to myself, "Jessica, you're going to love to write whether you like it or not." I can also tell you that there are many other writers of my age, older, and published, that I know are exceedingly more accomplished than myself. I write because it does bring me joy. I have no room to say I am the best writer ever known.

I am a perfectly imperfect human being whose perfectly, perfect joy is to imperfectly write.

I think that even during those ten page stories from the third grade to the essays in high school (and the numerous to come in just a few months), that God gave me the gift to write. At this season in my life I write on good ol' Blogger as well as articles for another website (Positively Feminine). Why do I write though? Well, here is the answer. Finally:

I write not just because God crafted the desire in my heart, but because I know that through only Him I can actually do something with it. As we all know, once something ends up on the internet, by golly anybody can find it. Therefore, anybody can read this blog, whether or not they post comments or follow it. I don't know who reads it. All I know is that somebody can. Someone out there can get just a glimpse of what God can do, through what He's done in my life. I am here to say to you, dear reader, that within yourself, and within other people there are many more "glimpses". I see God whenever someone laughs to the point of tears when they thought they were at their worst. I saw God when just a few weeks ago, witnessed nearly the biggest rainbow I've ever seen only to then hear my friend say, "Wow...that's His promise to us." I see God in my family, in how much they love, support, and are determined to give the best, not just to my brother and I and to each other, but to everyone they meet. I can only pray that someone I don't even know, that I may never meet, will read these words and also see God- even if just a glimpse. These words are not my own. They are His through me: a child of God who has worlds of new things to learn and grasp every single day. That dear reader is why I write. I write for His glory. I write because I know that in the end, my words will matter somewhere. It doesn't matter if they don't end up on newsstands, or book stands.

It matters if they end up on the "stands" in your heart, that are only to be filled with more of Him-
the greatest Author ever known.

Many blessings.
(comments open to all)

Why do we...

2010-05-27T10:59:00.005-05:00

stop searching?

"My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."- Proverbs 2:1-5

I was sitting and reading through one of my prayer journals the other day and saw that I had glued a quote onto one of the pages. I re-read the quote, liked it and proceeded to moving on- but then I stopped. Did I even bother to look up who the quote originated from?
Or did I get what I wanted out of it, and moved on?

Then I realized I'd been doing this a lot when it came to reading my Bible and "trying" to understand what was being said, without putting my whole heart in it to let God speak to me through it the way He wanted to. I had recently hit a dry spot in my spiritual walk that involved beating myself up over the little things, and dwelling on them letting worry, doubt, and lack of confidence seep through again. It wasn't until last night that I realized since it had started that all I wanted was more of God. Nothing less. Every part of my life would be absolutely meaningless without Him, but the one thing I wasn't doing was acting on it through wholehearted seeking.

I was also blind to the fact that God had been using one of my friends all along for me to notice this. She'd say to herself all the time "Luke 2:19" which reads in my ESV "But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart.". I see now why I admire this friend of mine so greatly. Although I've experienced God move in my life, the things I've seen in hers that made something about just being around her so drastically different from anyone else was that she pondered the things God shared with Her. They weren't "just some quote" that felt good for a minute and sounded good to repeat later. The things He has taught her are engraved on her heart. I pray that God beings to do the same and more for me in my own life. If you read this, dear friend, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

My encouragement to you dear reader is that God calls us to search. Just as we long for more of Him, He longs to see us search after Him. He promises that when we seek Him we will find Him. Luke 11:10- "For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened." The more we seek Him the more we WILL find Him,

and I long to get to intimately know the One who already knows me.

Many blessings :)
(comments open to all)

He hears the cries...

2010-05-18T22:00:00.004-05:00

of the smallest voices.

"And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he is committed sins he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth. Then he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit." - James 5:15-18

Hello, dear reader. I didn't know what I would write about. I seem to say that a lot at the beginning of a majority of my entries, but it is entirely true. Sometimes I think it's best that I just sit down and write when something is laid on my heart right then and there. I pray that these blogs inspire, teach, and take the focus off of myself, and point toward Him. Besides, this all wouldn't be possible without Him :)

The verse above, a dear friend of mine shared with me this morning. I'm just now reading it, but I realize that it's something that's been on my mind and heart for the past few days or so. Care to know why? Well, I will share that with you now:

We are small.
VERY small.
I need a reminder every now and then.
Here is one for you:
http://www.crazylovebook.com/videos_awe.html
(please take the 3:12 to watch this before continuing)

I think that video helps with what I am about to say. Francis Chan, thank you.

As I was saying, we are small. Incredibly small. What has absolutely blown my mind over the past few days is that I've not only forgotten that I am very small, but that God is VERY big.
Now, I may or may not have written about worrying in a previous blog, but I seem to have been doing a lot of it lately, and I realize now, there is NO need to do such a silly, silly thing. Why? Because of the verses I stated above.

I have had to learn throughout my walk with God that whenever I rush into or through prayer, that I walk away empty. No, not because I feel that God didn't hear me, or that He didn't respond fast enough- it was because I forgot He is not only "big" but He is Holy ...perfect...loving...just...HOLY. Every single word I say, in or out of prayer, matters to Him. Conversations with friends, family, jokes, even talking to myself going through a "to-do" list for the day. They are all important to Him. Why not take the time to wholly and lovingly worship Him through the things I say?

Here is what I bring to you, dear reader:

God cares for every single prayer and hears every word we speak. I'm not saying go ask for an outlandishly expensive car and it'll be at your door tomorrow. Genuine, seeking His will, wholehearted conversation: prayer is what I'm talking about. Sometimes I'll go out on my roof and just talk to Him as though He were sitting right in front of me. I'll be staring at a clear, blue sky, and swat at a bug every now and then- but I know He's there listening. He's great, majestic, holy (and simply indescribable no matter how many words I try to fit into this blog). Just as any relationship takes communication, the same goes with communication with God. It could be five minutes or hours. When you or I talk to Him, He listens, and He cares. He may not answer right away. He may answer when you least expect it. He may answer right then and there.

He is GOD.
And when He speaks, I'm reminded every single time.

Many blessings,
(comments open to all)

You make...

2010-04-20T21:27:00.004-05:00

everything glorious.

I can't say that there is a specific topic for this entry. I'm going to write because it was on my heart to do so.
Ready?
Here we go.

Sometimes I forget. I forget that whenever I try to take steps forward in my walk with God that Satan is there having a fit and tries to push me five steps back. He hates and despises that I have any kind of relationship with God. Over the course of the past few weeks there have been numerous ups and there have been a fair share of downs. I sit to you now dear reader thinking to myself and in my heart knowing this one thing:

God is always there and He makes everything glorious.

I understand. You may have heard this a hundred times over. THINK about it though. Ponder it. Let it take over your thought process for just a few moments.

The very same God who led Moses and his people out of Egypt,
The very same God that gave Esther the courage to stand against every law, risking her life to save the lives of her people,
The very same God that gave David victory over Goliath,

The very same God that sent His ONLY son to die for our sins.

Again, all of those things may seem repetitive. They may have been said in countless church services. Reminders never hurt though. I sit here now looking back at all the times I may have gotten annoyed for no reason, worried and not trusted, or became lazy instead of willing. For what reason did I do those things? For a brief moment in time, I forgot. There is a God that passionately loves me. He loves you. This isn't something I'm saying just because I can. I want to.
I look back at times where I have been at my absolute worst. I felt worthless and stuck as though I couldn't get anywhere. God was there. He always had been and continues to be. He molds my imperfections into priceless treasures pouring with His love. My burden He took. A reminder. A reminder that makes the things I worry about so indescribably small in comparison to Him.
He loves despite mistakes. He teaches and disciplines when necessary. He picks up and restores what was broken and bruised. He knows He is God, and He knows we are who we are whom He so longingly desires to nurture and care for. He is fair and just. He is God.

"God replied to Moses, “I Am Who I Am...." Exodus 3:14

Why do I tell you this?
As a reminder.
A reminder with love about a God who IS love.

Many blessings.
(comments open to all)

Why on earth am I here?

2010-03-22T20:15:00.005-05:00

"Thus says the Lord: 'Keep your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears, for there is a reward for your work, declares the Lord, and they shall come back from the land of the enemy. There is hope for your future, declares the Lord, and your children shall come back to their own country."- Jeremiah 31: 16, 17

I have asked that question a lot since before spring break started: Why on earth am I here? A number of my friends are on mission trips or youth conferences, and here I was at home feeling "left out". For an entire week I would ask God that question over and over again. I wanted to be on a mission trip. I had never been on one before, and I longed now more than ever to be on one. I felt like I was missing something, and that I would be bored out of my mind, angry that I was "stuck" here.

As I was talking to a friend of mine about this, she so indirectly said, "Jessica, your mission field is here." The conversation continued, but of everything we were talking about, despite how brief we talked, that was the one phrase that wouldn't leave me alone. "Jessica, your mission field is here."

During that same week of asking that question I came across the verse I first mentioned, and knew God was speaking to me through it. Of all the things I had heard and read, knowing that I had a "hope for my (your) future" was the most comforting things in the world. I didn't ever believe that I was going to fail at life- but for the first time I felt as though I would have a significant purpose

wherever I was.

My encouragement to you, dear reader is this:

You never know where God may call you to serve. No matter how well you plan out your day, your week, or your year, something could very easily change. For me, I was restless with the fact that I thought I was missing something by not being on a mission trip. I was being stubborn and impatient, because I don't know where God may decide to take me in the future. I am incredibly proud of and thankful to have friends who selflessly serve outside of their comfort zone overseas, for a purpose greater than themselves. That passion I admire more than words can say. My prayers and thoughts are with them <3 This week for me, although just started, has been far from boring with the fire and awakenings God has placed in my heart for Him to cultivate and grow into blossoming opportunities. Just as there is a time for everything, God sees a purpose and potential in every one. For some it may be in their hometown, overseas, or in another state. Regardless, God can use us wherever we are, if we are willingly ready and open to whatever He may call us to.

Many blessings everyone :)
Enjoy your break!
(comments open to all)

Perfect.

2010-02-27T00:54:00.003-06:00

Dear reader, I come to you now at 12:57 in the morning, exhausted, questioning why my heart is pounding to write this, and hoping that after nearly a month of absence from writing, God works through me as my fingers busily type away.

Perfect.

Using that word I think can sometimes be very abused (myself abusing it at times as well).
Why do I say this?
I may look at a completed project of sort and say "Perfect!" to myself, and somewhere in the far, dark corners of my mind I know it's not perfect. Other times, I may be describing a performance, and say that all in all it was "perfect". Regardless that same prying notion comes back of: it truly wasn't perfect.

I also know that I'm not the only one who does this.

The reason why this whole idea hit me was because after talking to an amazing woman I've gotten to know a bit over the past few weeks, I got so angry and disappointed in myself. After venting to her a few things that had been going on, I couldn't seem to understand why what was going on was happening in the first place! Why couldn't I just avoid situations that in the end would cause me to either worry, over-think, or make me look at myself and wonder what more I could do? Why couldn't I in some ways just be "perfect". No worries. No stress. No hurt. Nothing.

I can't be perfect. No one can be perfect. No situation can be perfect. No project is perfect. No performance is perfect. NOTHING is perfect...except Him.
I searched this word perfect in biblegateway, just curious to see the results. Countless verses came up describing how God is perfect in every way, but this one came profoundly through my computer screen more than any other:

"Is it any advantage to the Almighty if you are righteous ?Would it be any gain to him if you were perfect?" Job 22:3 NLT

God knows that I in no way shape or form am perfect. I am going to make mistakes, not understand something that's going on in my life, or do something where in the end I wish I had just listened to Him instead of doing what I wanted to do. I'm not saying that it's ok to ignore Him and lean everything on "I'm human and not perfect." but instead I am saying this dear reader:

God is truly the only thing that is perfect. Absolutely perfect. We won't always understand something He has done or is doing, but in the end, something clicks and the realization comes that whatever it was, was for the better. I can say that there have been numerous times where I tried taking something into my own hands, and it was a downhill turn from there. What amazes me most is that God, being perfect, delights in our imperfections, to mold them, and shape them, into beautiful attributes to who we are as a person. He doesn't do this out of selfishness, but out of pure, limitless love, even if what needs changing is hard. I love Him for it more than I could ever write to you on this blog. Here is what I can say:

I'm glad He's perfect,
I'm not,
and that daily I have the ability to love more, live more, and be more of who He created me to be, because He loves me (and all of us), that much.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

I am utterly transfixed...

2010-01-30T15:07:00.007-06:00

and amazed by Him.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him."-Psalm 28:7

I cannot say accurately what exactly is fueling this entry other than completely transfixed love on Him, the ultimate Love of my life. Why? I will explain.

I started taking down the pictures that I had hanging up in my room. In doing so, my wall became more and more bare until it was a vast open space of plain white paint. Times like this are when I begin to think of the most strange and random things. I began to realize that underneath all of that paint was plaster, and who knows what other material to create the wall itself. Then underneath that was a skeletal foundation holding everything together and in place, and to build the foundation it took a number of people to put it all together...
The final result was a home. A dwelling place. Not just some building by some road on some street. A home.

Last night I unintentionally read that verse thinking for some reason I was in Proverbs. Needless to say, I am glad I did. How many times have I forgotten that God has built His very own dwelling place within me? He ever so carefully crafted every part of my being from the cells in my physical body, to His Spirit in my soul. Every single part of me is a part of Him. Within me, He builds a home.

Over some time, I hung some things on the wall and over time those things began to clutter and merely just take up space. They hid the surface of the wall, and as I began to puncture it with nails to hang up more things, it damaged things on the inside as well. These pictures of worldly desires, acceptance, and selfish pursuits started taking up way too much space while God, the wall, the structure, the foundation, was being put out of view.

All day today I started thinking about what was making me so sluggish. I didn't feel like doing anything and all I wanted to do was sit down and just do nothing. I'd like to say some of this attributed to the weather outside, but it was beyond just grabbing a cup of hot chocolate and reading. The extreme of laziness took hold. The entire time there's been a gentle tug and pull on my heart. "Jessica, spend some time with me."...I ignored it. "Jessica, let me give you strength."...I ignored it. "Jessica, remember your reason for being where you are now."...something woke up. Here I was being downright lazy and sluggish all day and He was calling out to me to give Him my time. He wanted me to rest in Him and abide in Him for strength. He wanted all of ME, regardless of how I felt.

God does not tug or force. He does not pressure or condemn. He loves, and cares, and convicts. He disciplines, restores, and teaches. He loves with a love that no one can ever accurately describe with words or even begin to comprehend. What I encourage you to do, dear reader, is spend time cleaning out your own dwelling place for Him. Let Him show you where He wants to make more room for Him in your life and within yourself.

We are His temple, and He wants us to honor it,
because He loves us that much.

Many blessings,
(comments open to all)

What if we...

2010-01-04T14:22:00.006-06:00

held back the good we could give?

" Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to do it."- Proverbs 3:27

I hope you all had an absolutely splendid New Years! I can share one of my resolutions now, which is updating this blog more. I hate getting on here and having so much to write, and not being able to fit it all in one entry.

Anyways, already going into the new and exciting year there have been smiles, laughs, and tears here and there. Each and every one bringing about a new lesson to learn for me to take on the endeavor of what's ahead in my life. Most importantly, the start of this new year for me, literally started with God. I have never been able to say until now that I gave the very first hour of my year to God until now. Thankfully, with my youth group at my side worshiping with me, I can't say it could have been brought in a better way. Ever since, daily, God has been laying more and more and more and...(etc.) on my heart and I don't know exactly where to begin. With that being said, I will start with the verse I gave at the beginning of this entry.

"Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due when it is in your power to do it."- Proverbs 3:27

Before discovering that verse yesterday, I had talked to two different friends of mine. In both conversations, I had the chance to bring up that what that very verse says, is a "motto" of mine. More recently than ever, I've been applying into my life the action of giving a bit more good when I can. If I can give someone a little encouragement, I take that chance. If I can just listen to someone when they're having a bad day, I'll do it. Whatever it is, God's been breaking my mold of "self" and shaping a new one for "others". Now during those conversations, I didn't ever think of that verse. I probably had read it before, but it's amazing how God re-emphasizes things in our lives. Needless to say, when I cam across it, I just smiled.

That verse though, says exactly what I had been saying before without realizing it and it is something that I encourage you to do as well dear reader. As brothers and sisters in Christ, it's not our responsibility to bring each other down. When you think about it, even when we hold back giving some good to someone else, we may not bring them down, but we simply allow them to sit in the same state they were before. Did they get brought down? No. But all in all, they were never brought up. Just as I am a firm believer in their being love in everyone, I am also this way with seeing good in everyone. I don't know how every person on this earth may express that "good". It could be through being that listening ear, giving sound advice, going out of your way to help someone, or even opening a door for someone.

When you have the opportunity to do good; DO GOOD.
You never know when or where you'll help someone,
and you never know who that someone may be.

Have a happy and very blessed 2010!
(comments open to all)

365 days ago...

2009-12-17T17:07:00.005-06:00

we started all over again.

"Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. They are like trees planed along the riverbank, bearing fruit each season. Their leaves never wither and they prosper in all they do."- Psalms 1:1-3

Well, today is my "spiritual birthday" or "spiritual anniversary" (whichever you want to call it). A year ago today, I made the decision to be baptized again. It wasn't forced upon me by anything or anyone. I had been baptized when I was twelve, and well...a lot had happened since then, and my relationship with God turned in a completely different direction. A year ago, I said "Lord, I'm giving everything back to you. My thoughts, my words, my actions, ME. Little ol' me. Do as you wish."

Today though, this was NOT the first thing I thought of.
Today is almost over, and while looking up a blog about Eric and Leslie Ludy (some of my favorite authors), I was reading about THEIR anniversary as of December 10th, and suddenly it clicked. Jessica, it's YOUR anniversary with HIM too. Remember?

I sure didn't remember. For the past few weeks, God has done a lot of "handywork" on my heart. Tons and tons and tons. It has been convicting and uplifting through it all, but one of the biggest lessons I've been trying to learn is LISTENING. Not only to others, but to God. Paying attention to what He's trying to say. Just as any relationship, communication is included. Sometimes, I can talk, talk, talk, talk, and talk to God-
but I DON'T sit back and listen. Today I was out and about with my mom and we had a blast. When I got home I heard news that didn't necessarily put me in the best of moods. I started thinking about college, school, family, etc. and while reading that blog God said, "HELLO. We shared something this day greater than all these little things going on. Take joy in that!"

The verse at the beginning of the entry talks about trees. I adore trees. No, I don't know the name to every single one on sight, but I love the meaning behind them (or at least what I see). In a previous entry I've talked about this, but I will say it again, purely because of what today means to me. Every winter trees "die". One reason why I never cared for winter was because of how dead the trees looked. No leaves, no color...just scrawny, dry branches. What fascinates me most is that every spring, regardless of how dead they seem, they spring back to life with new colors, new leaves, and new LIFE. They bear fruit EACH season- even in winter. During winter takes endurance and strength to make it through the harsh colds and storms. Spring brings a fresh spirit and energy. Summer prospers and exudes the beauty within. Fall embraces change to die to self...allowing the cycle to start again.

I died to myself and let Him live in me. "Just like the trees". To me 365 days seems like a long time. To Him, it's but a day or even a second. God willing there are more sets of 365 days to come, how I cant wait for what opportunities and lessons He has for me then. He remembers everything about me even when I pay attention to "bigger" things and lose sight of Him at times.

But He's never let me go.
I love Him for that.

Many blessings <3
and Merry Christmas :)
(comments open to all)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T14:40:00.006-06:00

I will admit that I am a huge food lover when it comes to this holiday, and I know there are many of you reading this that are as well. As you probably heard a million times (maybe not exactly), please do think of, appreciate, and spend time with those (and the things) that you are thankful for. It's not all about the food, Black Friday the next day, or even (brace yourselves) the football. There are numerous things that we are blessed with each and every day that we take advantage of, and just because today is a day of thanks (and giving), doesn't mean it's the only day you have to be thankful forthose very same things. Thanksgiving is 365 days a year. No the food, footballs, or the Black Fridays are not 365 days a year- but the meaning behind this holday IS.

Many blessings readers and have a fantastic Thanksgiving :)
(comments open to all)

You never know...

2009-11-22T21:39:00.004-06:00

when God may want to use you.

"The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded in everything he did as he served in the home of his Egyptian master."- Genesis 39:2

Lately, I have been gradually reading through the book of Genesis, and with what I am about to talk about, opening up to that verse (apart of what I read today) seemed to fit quite well.

During this Thanksgiving break, I am fasting from Facebook (alliteration anyone?), and already God has begun to teach me so much. I never realized how much time I wasted, or what I wasn't doing in that time that I usually enjoy doing: writing, reading, and most importantly, spending time with God. What I would like to share with you, dear reader, is becoming more and more prominent in my life every day:

You never know when God is going to use you.

I used to absolutely hate speaking in front of people. To this very day, I still don't like extended amounts of attention drawn to myself. Yet over time, God's been peeling me out of that shell I put myself in, and I can say to you now that I am very grateful that he did. One thing I know I didn't like doing was sharing my testimony. I didn't know where to start, how to initiate the conversation, and thought that I had to go into doing so in some perfect, profound way. Wrong.

When God has control of something like this, it lays everything out as He plans for it to.

The reason why I chose the verse above was because Joseph is a prime example of us never knowing when God may use us. By this time, he has been sold and ridiculed by his brothers, and is now in Potiphar's house as noting but a slave. Mind you, God gave Joseph a vision that he was going to do something great! Why on earth was he now a slave and hated by his family? Instead of giving up on God and letting go of the dream that He gave him, Joseph persistently let God USE him in the situation he was in. He submitted under his master, and was later made Potiphar's personal attendant. Later on in Genesis, Joseph goes through many more trials, but even at the start of it all, He LET GOD USE HIM. With this, he was able to succeed in all that he was doing, prosper when he had nothing, and cultivate with the little he had.

God has given us the opportunity He gave to Joseph. He gave us the opportunity for us to let us be used by Him. Not as His "minions" out of selfishness, but as his loving, triumphant servants selflessly and joyfully doing His Will in our lives. Just as God has been using me to speak to others intimately about Him, and be a listening ear, getting me out of my "protective" shell, He has something planned for you to do as well. He has a PLAN for you. He has a specific task he designed and designated just for you! Take the time with Him so He can show you whatever that may be,

and allow Him to use you in every way He can.

Many blessings! <3
(comments open to all)

One year ago...

2009-11-21T19:20:00.005-06:00

this blog began.

"For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

As the title says, one year ago this blog began. I can't believe it has now been exactly 365 days, with over 50 entries so far- and that God still has a long way to go through me with this blog.

This entry won't exactly be long, but I wanted to share with you something that a dear friend of mine taught me:

It is beyond important to discover yourself through Christ instead of by the world or even our own standards.

Just two years ago, I was not the same person I am now. I can wholly relate to anyone who has made a mistake and regretted it. I look back on some of the things I said and did and am not proud of it. Even with this, God has shown me the light through the situations that I went through. To Him, I was beautiful. To Him, I was worth more than what I was making myself out to be. To Him, I had a great potential and drive within myself, that I had failed to recognize. To Him, I was someone that was going to make a difference in the world, for the people that I interact with every single day. Through Him and Him alone, I was all of these things and still am to this day.

But one thing I want to share with you, dear reader, is that it is never too late to learn something new. It is also never too late to grow farther than where you are now. God has been there for me numerous times where I thought I couldn't do any more. He's shown me that, yes, there is SO much more I could do if I gave Him the reigns and trusted in Him with ALL that I had- not part of it.

There is still a great amount of things I have to learn about myself inside and out. I can't do so alone. God has blessed me with an encouraging family, amazing friends, and His Love, to guide me to where I am now. With it being Thanksgiving week, they are some of the many things I am so very thankful for.

Discover who you are and enjoy the time it takes to do so, because it's not something that can be done overnight, but literally takes a lifetime to do.
Continue learning from those that hold a dear place in your heart.
Let God show you what HE sees in you-
because He cherishes you with all of His heart :)

Many Blessings, and have a wonderful start to your Thanksgiving week <3
(comments open to all)

The more I seek Him...

2009-10-20T19:27:00.006-05:00

the more I find Him.

"The one thing I ask of the Lord- the thing I seek most- is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord's perfections and meditating in His Temple.- Psalm 27:4

God works in funny and wonderful ways :)
I'm so sorry that these entries are being spread farther and farther apart.
This will change very, very soon.
For now though, I'd like to share with you a number of things that have all come together into one big phenomenal ball of...enlightenment (?). One that has brought me much joy and a little push forward.

So, these past few weeks have been beyond "unpredictable". More things have been placed on my heart than I could ever imagine, and the fact that they are all coming together now still blows my mind.
There have been a lot of things going on where I either did or could have gotten downright annoyed. Other times, something had the potential to bring me joy, and I didn't take notice to it. One thing I've realized is that:

God has not stopped reminding me where He is in my life.

When I say He hasn't stopped sending those reminders, it's in everything I do. Looking back on these past few weeks, wow! What happiness He's brought into my life! I can't deny it or look over it as though it never happened. Now here's the "kicker"-
I need to learn how to share that happiness in all I do as well with those I come in contact with every single day. How can I contain it? Not only is that a bit selfish, but sure enough, it reminds me of an analogy a guy Dylan brought up at the last Bible Club meeting. I can't quote him word for word, but his pastor brought to him the image that God within out lives should be like a waterfall. If we don't spend time with Him for him to "fill us up" with what we can "pour out"- then there will be nothing to be poured out onto others and we will dry up. If we try to "pour out" and we don't spend time "filling up" with Him, then we won't have anything left and remain stagnate. We need to do BOTH to fully experience what God has in our lives- which leads to the quote (that came up during youth service this past Wednesday):

"We were created on purpose, for a purpose."

And with trying to discover what God's purpose for my life may be, I had been struggling with a lot of self image. How on earth can I possibly live out as a single, woman of God the way GOD wants me to? As much as He's taught me and what I've learned from others, I still couldn't wrap my head around it being possible, and being afraid to "mess it all up". Then, while reading through Genesis this morning (another goal of mine to get through), I hit chapter 24 and was absolutely amazed. To keep it short (because I would LOVE for you to read it for yourself), Abraham is in search for a wife for his song Isaac, so he sends his servant to their homeland to do so. After a very interesting search, God brings along Rebekah, who had me floored from the start (in a good way). She was wholesome, modest, happy and loving in every way. At the time she was to meet Isaac, instead of running up to him like a frantic, overly excited little girl, she "covered her face with her veil" (end of vs. 65), maintaining the femininity and grace God had given her, until they married and they were able to love to the fullest and most pure extent.

Here I was wondering how on EARTH all this was going to tie together and God gladly did it.
I want to tell you, dear reader, that after all of this there IS something God wants to share with you!

LISTEN

I will say it again.

LISTEN.

On top of that be completely and openly aware to whatever it may be. Whether or not what I've written between the first line until now made any sense, or benefited you in any way, please take that with you-

because I can't begin to describe how amazing it really is :)
Much love and many blessings.
(comments open to all)

You are...

2009-09-29T17:24:00.010-05:00

something more than you could have ever imagined.

"You are their glorious strength. It pleases you to make us strong.- Psalm 89:17

I cannot necessarily say that this is a "topic". It is something that has been placed on my heart, has lived in my heart, and has grown into something great that can't be contained. A lot of times, I don't know how to tell this to people I don't know. I'm "shy". But when it comes down to it, it really is me being afraid to get out of my comfort zone. I will start here, in this blog, and pray that I can actually voice this to those I know, and to those I don't know. This blog can be read by the followers I see on my homepage, or by more that I've never even met. I will gladly tell this to whoever is reading it- no matter who they are. I don't know a single person who doesn't enjoy encouragement. This, is what I bring to you now, with much love.

Young Women:
You are beautiful.
You are daughters and princesses in Christ. You are my sister in Christ. I come to you now a young woman who has previously selfishly lived for herself. I had low self esteem, no care of direction of in life, or myself. My family and friends were support. As much as I didn't pay attention to it, God was there too- calling out and waiting for me to come to Him with His open arms. I tell you right now with love in my heart that you were made to make differences. To use your talents and natural femininity to make a difference in this world today. You have a voice. You have a love within you that is so powerful. God sees all of these things in you, and even I, forget that sometimes. He has brought even stronger support into my life from family to friends- determined, willing young women near and far- who have made a great impact on my heart. If you don't know where to start looking for this within yourself, ask God. He knows more about each and every one of us than we know about ourselves. He has shown, and is continuing to show me the beauty within myself. You have it and I pray from now on, you begin to discover it.

Young Men:
You are bold.
You are strong.
You are my brother in Christ. You have a God-given masculinity within you that is to be brought forth into this generation and to the people around you. I cannot begin to describe it! Look at Job. He was tested and tried and stayed strong persisting in all He went though. He was a warrior. It cannot be narrowed down, the things he did. I bring to you Job 29:13 and 14. "I helped those without hope, and they blessed me. And I caused the widow's hearts to sing for joy. Everything I did was honest. Righteousness covered me like a robe, and I worse justice like a turban." He made the widows sing with JOY. Think about that. He was the head and provider of his household with his family, giver to the poor, leader in his community- he was a warrior. All he did was centered and founded on God. He was the source, the center, the undeniable foundation. I am still learning about and becoming enthralled with other men in the Bible such as Paul, Peter, and Stephen. But young men, please- pray that God helps you discover and embrace what you were always meant to have. ALL of these things and more. I know it's there and I have such faith in you to also live it out.

I love you all very much <3
Have a great week.
(comments open to all)

This is the 50th post...

2009-09-02T22:20:00.007-05:00

and I can't imagine how perfectly timed it was.
Thanks, God.

"You are all together beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way."- Song of Songs 4:7

Hello, dear reader! I mentioned in the beginning how perfect God's Timing is...

and It sure is.

My name is Jessica.
As of today I am seventeen years old.
My favorite color is blue.
I enjoy to dance,
and I could continue to write endless pages with simple facts about myself (like these here). I wouldn't necessarily enjoy a task such as that, but give me a few hours, and I MIGHT be able to squeeze out something.
Now if you were to do the same thing, I wouldn't doubt the fact that you could get some things out too. But the thing is, no matter how long of a list we try to compile-

God can make a MUCH longer one.

I think sometimes we all forget how much God knows about us.
I know I have.

Tonight during youth I just sat back during worship and God helped me take a peek into myself. God placed a huge desire on my heart for youth. I can't tell you with words how big of a desire it is. He helped me realize why I want to go into youth ministry, while I was watching the other youth in the room experiencing His presence. It was breath-taking. As my interest in a particular person grows, I sit back and wonder why on earth do I have to wait, and why nothing has happened. But, He reminded me that all of the desires in my heart, even the desire for a God-written relationship, can be satisfied through Him. He revealed to me my impatience, stubbornness, and other things that are between me and God. When it came down to it though-

God knows me! He takes delight in me and LONGS for each and every one of us to take delight in Him. He sees us as beautiful, strong, determined children- MEN and WOMEN of GOD- treasures-

He sees us for who we are.
The good.
The bad.
EVERYTHING.

In Luke when it talks about continuing to seek and you will find...it says the truth!
After continuing to seek for God,
He's answered my prayers and will continue the more I seek Him,
and the more YOU seek Him.

He was my first best friend,
He was my first love,
even if I hadn't been taking that revelation to heart recently,
guess what?

HE STILL IS :)

Take the time to say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU to God to today.
It doesn't have to be right now, or 30 minutes from now.
But when you get the time to just escape to make time for you and God-

do it.

He's so eager to show you Himself, and a little of yourself as well ;)

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Inspiration goes to these two wonderful Women of God.
Please take the time to read these blogs <3
It's funny how God works through other people in our lives,
and He surely used these two in mine.

"He Knows Me" by NOT PERFECT- ONLY FORGIVEN <3

"Known" by Jennifer from Addison Road

Do not depend...

2009-08-20T17:11:00.001-05:00

on your own understanding.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."- Proverbs 3:5,6

I believe I've used this verse before, but for this entry, it seemed appropriate yet again.

Anyways, I have had something on my mind for the past few days that has been throwing me for a loop. That loop is not necessarily a bad one- but one that wants to expand my brain a little more. That loop does a little tugging on my heart. That loop causes me to long and desire for something that I've tried to attain all by myself for a long time-

knowledge.

Now why knowledge, of all things, would throw me for a loop? Well I will tell you why.
There are many times where I will hear a family member, friend, acquaintance, or stranger, speak of a parable in the Bible- and I have either a) never heard of it or b) lacked my own understanding of it from not digging a little deeper myself. I don't necessarily get angry, but I sure do want to pull out my Bible, look it up, and gain as much from it as I possibly can. I want to be able to comprehend what that person was talking about. Having the peace in knowing that I, with God's help, was able to also understand where they were coming, made me excited to learn more. It's not merely parables that I'm talking about. Other times, it's lessons that in my relationship with God I've yet to experience. That person may have a greater maturity than I- but that does not keep me from wanting to know more. It does not keep me from wanting to have my own understanding, and learning it from my own life as well.

But as the verse says, I can't just lean on my own understanding- but with His guidance as well.

Many times my mom will tell me something, a "life lesson" you could say, and I will usually take it to mind, but not to heart until it actually happened to me. I'll go to her saying, "Thank you." with the sheer respect of now being able to see where she was coming from- and that she took the time to tell me before hand. But the thing is-

I couldn't obtain that knowledge alone.

When I write these blogs to you, dear reader, I am not trying to persuade you into anything. I write to you because God has given me a gift to- which in itself could also develop :) But I come to you with experiences and lessons from my life that God has taught me, in hopes that maybe it will reach your heart. I can't come to you saying I know everything about God, or the Bible in its entirety. I'm still learning just as anyone else. I can only come to you with what God has taught me, and I pray He gradually begins to show me more. I can say what He's taught me with confidence. If I don't understand something, I'll gladly look it up whether it takes days, weeks, months- but I have not always been that way. I thought I could just gather whatever I wanted to understand all by myself. Wrong.
God has placed people in my life, whom I learn from every day. I know I'll never be fully able to understand God. Ever. I do know that He can teach me as much as He possibly can with His help. No one can completely understand Him as Isaiah 55:8,9 says. But along with that, His Word never ceases to amaze or inspire me. What I want to share with you, dear reader, is that just as I cannot take that path on my own that the verse talks about- I encourage you to ask God what He may want to show you-

and use you to show to others with love.

Many blessings,
and have a wonderful start to your school year :)
<3

He is excited...

2009-08-02T12:54:00.004-05:00

and more than happy to see you grow!

"I know you are pleased with me, for you have not let my enemies triumph over me. You have preserved my life because I am innocent; you have brought me into your presence forever."- Psalm 41:11, 12

Oh dear goodness! I've missed writing so incredibly much! I've been sick and out of town for the past two weeks, which is one reason as to why I haven't even come near this blog. I'm so happy to tell you that God doesn't let you sit somewhere for too long. I'd been praying as to what God wanted me to write about and- He sure answers prayers as well.

What I'd like to share with you, dear reader, is that God is so excited to see you grow with Him! In the verse above it says "you have brought me into your presence forever". It doesn't say just for a little while, a few months, a few years- FOREVER. That alone reminds me of the story of Martha and Mary of Bethany. Martha was so busy running around the house, trying to fix it up when Jesus had arrived. When she stopped and turned to Jesus implying that she was upset that Mary had not done any work, Jesus says, "My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her." (Luke 10:41, 42) Jesus was so happy to have shared with her Himself and that He would never be taken away from her! This is because she opened up her spirit to Him and gave ALL of herself for Him to move through and use for His glory. God is forever with us. Just like I was sick for 2 weeks, gone for one, and didn't have much time with this blog, doesn't mean God wasn't teaching me something along the way! It has all led up to this one very important lesson He has taught me:

He is excited to see us grow with Him! I bold it and I repeat it, because it's SO true. If we do step out of our comfort zone and allow God to move through us, then there is so much He can do! He is ready for us to come to Him! For the longest time without realizing it, I was fearing God in a way of thinking: "Wow...God is REALLY big. He sees everything I do, and if I mess up, He won't be able to love me the same way." Boy, was I wrong! God doesn't want us to fear Him so much we forget to LOVE Him. He wants us to fear Him by knowing He IS God- and that is all. There is a vast amount of love that I can't even begin to describe to you, dear reader, that He is willing to share with us daily! All it takes is our trust in Him, spending time with Him, and learning about Him daily as well. When we forget of ourselves, and give it all to Him, He will move through us and with us within our lives in unimaginable ways.

When He does, it will be forever.

Many blessings <3
Have a fantastic day.
(comments open to all)

I come to you...

2009-07-05T12:17:00.004-05:00

with peace and joy in mind and heart.

"But you should keep a clear mind in every situation. Don't be afraid of suffering for the Lord. Work at telling others the Good News, and fully carry out the ministry God has given you."- 2 Timothy 4:5

This isn't going to necessarily be a lengthy entry today, dear reader, but I would like to share with you one thing that God has taught me within the past few days- which has graciously led up to now.

What God has in store for each and every one of us by giving everything to Him, cannot be described with words in any way shape or form. For the past few months, God has placed giving up something on my heart. Ever since, I made compromises. I tried to work around something that God wanted me to do- without seeing the possible benefits of just doing what He said. Finally, after those two months, I "gave in". I said, "Alright God, I'm giving it up for a week, just like you asked. Let You Will be done, and not my own." Well sure enough, just within the few days I have gone without, He has let me gain so incredibly much. Far more than I could fit into one entry on Blogger. The reason why I thought of the verse above before writing this entry was because it was one area that God helped me in. He has begun to give me a clearer mind in situations that were past my understanding. Other situations I just didn't know what to do- and in the end He taught me another lesson:

With humility, vulnerability, and submission to Him is nothing to be ashamed of or looked down upon. I know that if I were to ever think of those words, before now, I would think of them as a sign of weakness and not much worth. To be honest though, it is far from it. Giving up something God places on your heart to give up for a day, a week, a month- is nothing to take lightly, or be ignored. In the end and along the way, God will begin to move within your life that you may have never thought to be possible. What I gave up consumed so much of my time. Far more than I had expected. There are things that I do now in place of it that are actually growing my relationship with God and even family and friends. I've been able to find joy in doing things that I had not taken the time out to do in a very long time. To sum all of this up- giving up anything for the love of something greater than yourself is not to be seen as pointless and not worth the time, but a journey that will allow you to have unimaginable experiences in your life.

I conclude this entry in saying, many blessings. I hope you all had a wonderful and safe Fourth of July- and that the rest of your summer, weekend (time off- whatever), is blessed.

:)

(comments open to all)

Who I ask...

2009-06-27T01:19:00.003-05:00

do we put as the center of it all?

"But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along a riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green, and they never stop producing fruit."- Jeremiah 17:7 & 8

This topic was on my mind earlier, but I had no earthly idea how to go about it- that is until now. Haha, I really don't know what to say. I truly love how He has made this work out the way it has. I will write, in hopes that maybe I can make sense of what is bursting from my heart to share with you. Let us begin.

For whatever reason, I've written a few poems about trees. The power that they display, along with their strength and magnificence has always grabbed my attention. Reading through my Bible and reaching that verse above made me smile beyond measure. Although it is speaking of trees, it says that those trees represent us as people. Just as God provides the fruit and endurance during difficult conditions for trees- He gives us joy and stability for our lives. One question I would like to ask you, dear reader, is what is the true source of your happiness? Asking this question to myself, I admit, was scary. When I answered it, my actions reflected otherwise. I said that God gives me my happiness, yet, I did not accurately express it through my daily life with the love and benevolence that I should have. This question was posed on my heart this previous week. But as the week went on, the more I based my lifestyle on glorifying Him, the more my center of happiness and fulfillment was because of Him. These things were no longer being filled with movies, music, etc.- but by Him
and Him alone, who in His on magnificent way was able to show me how living was meant to be.

He has begun to teach me how to be selfless instead of selfish- how to show the absolute and genuine love He shows us to those I may or may not know-
He has taught me how to found my life and the wonders within it solely on Him! As each moment passes, every thought, action, and spoken word has gradually become filled with more grace and love than ever before. I would like to say to you, dear reader, the importance of discovering such a thing as this-
His love.
It cannot be described,
it cannot be comprehended,
but fully and tenderly embraced, desired, and expressed throughout our lives.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Happy Father's Day

2009-06-21T14:01:00.007-05:00

...to everyone on this beautiful Sunday.

"But I said to you, 'Don't be shocked or afraid of them! The Lord your God is going ahead of you. He will fight for you, just as you saw him do in Egypt. And you saw how the Lord your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place.'"-Deuteronomy 1:29-31

Today is Father's Day. Usually, this holiday never really gets to me. My brother and I do the same thing each year as we do for Mother's Day. We find ways to show our genuine appreciation for our parents whichever holiday it happens to be. But today during church it actually hit me. As a group of girls performed a dance with their fathers in front of the congregation, I realized that I would probably not get the opportunity to do those things with my "real" or biological father again. Both my brother and I haven't seen him since we were infants, and well, I always shrugged it off. I'd say I "Wasn't bothered by it and had moved on." As I said, until today, I realized that I hadn't done such a thing at all. I hadn't forgiven and let go of the fact that he left. It was still harbored within me and I failed to recognize it. At the attempts to get a hold of him, he changed his number without us knowing- officially losing contact with him at all. There are situations much worse off than mine. There is the possibility that one may have lost their father, doesn't have a strong relationship with him, or doesn't know where he is at all, like myself. Even with these things in mind- I must say this:

Although there may be the absence of an earthly father figure in our lives, God blesses us with others whom we may not realize could be a fatherly figure. My step-father has been apart of my life, ever since my biological left. I didn't know this until last year when my mom explained things to me. My uncles are a phone call away. They help with college, making me laugh, or just talking about anything that may be on my mind. Some have certain characteristics that make them so incredibly unique. No one I know can play golf as well as one of my uncles. He taught me how to putt, which to this day is all I can do. Another has taught me how to enjoy life more, and laugh at even the tiniest of things. My step-father has taught me the importance at looking at a situation from another person's point of view. Another uncle of mine has taught me how valuable it is to know your family history. My grandfather shows me the power and pure joy it is to share compassion and love with others.

These fatherly figures in our lives, regardless if you have them or not, are also to be recognized as fathers. I myself hadn't truly taken the time out to think about all that the have done to impact me as a person until now as I'm writing this entry to you, dear reader. But even if there aren't any prominent male figures in your life- re-read the verse I posted above.

God is our Heavenly Father. Having to deal with a father that just left, He's not going anywhere. I can trust Him in everything I do, talk to Him whenever I want, spend time with Him, love Him- just as He does for me. He is perfect in every way possible, and with these fatherly figures in our lives, or not, He is the one whom everything started with. He protects, cares, and guides. He forgives, shares, and appreciates each and every thing about each and every one of us, that makes us who we are. I can say to you today He is my Father, and the recognition of that, brings me to peace at heart.

I stated before, there is the possibility that there aren't any prominent father figures in your life. If not, don't forget that there is still someone so incredibly special waiting to hold you just as He's always wanted to. If you do have those men in your lives that have played some form of father figure in your life, show them that they're appreciated. Each has been placed in our lives for a reason-

all because of Him.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Faith sustains...

2009-06-09T22:23:00.007-05:00

us at our weakest times.

"'Oh, thank you, sit!' she exclaimed. Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad."- 1 Samuel 1:18

Wow. It has been quite some time now since I've written, but that verse has been on my mind for the past week since I read it (Hannah is speaking to Eli who saw her praying). Hopefully you all have been doing good, and now, I hope this entry finds you well.

For some reason I have always loved the story of Hannah. If you've never read it before, to briefly explain, she was unable to bear children. She was hurt by the fact that she couldn't, and asked God to answer her prayer for this child. During her praying, she promised to God that she would give the child back to Him, to serve Him for his entire life. To symbolize this, his hair would also never be cut (1 Samuel 1:11) But that ONE verse, as I said, stood out. Through her pain of not being able to have a child, after that prayer it says "she was no longer sad". Sometimes I have prayed about something, and then still felt as though it wouldn't be answered. I wasn't sure if God had truly heard my prayer. Then reading this verse, and through what God has been teaching me this past week, I've learned this:

With faith in Him, there is no need to have sadness, worry, despair, depression and so on. In Ecclesiastes 3 it even says how everything happens at a certain time, but nonetheless it happens on God's timing- which is always perfect. Learning with Him, spending time with Him, and living our lives with Him is so incredibly important. Just as Hannah did, she put her complete faith in the fact that God would bring her a child. Not part of her faith. Not just when she needed something- but all that she had. He didn't even bring her just one child, but He gave her three sons and two daughters! With her prayer of praise for this child she also says:

"He will protect his faithful ones, but the wicked will disappear in darkness. No one will succeed by strength alone."- 1 Samuel 2:9

It makes me incredibly happy and pleased to know that God is always there with faith in Him. He will guide our footsteps wherever they need to go and there is no question that He just wants us to grow and serve Him through what we do.

"Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did."- 1 John 2:6 Which is nothing short of love, faith, and devotion of His life for God.

May you all continue to have a wonderful summer!
Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

I am quite unsure...

2009-05-24T10:37:00.006-05:00

of a specific title of this entry.

"This is a trustworthy saying: If we die with him. If we endure hardship, we will reign with him. If we deny him, he will deny us. If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is."- 1 Timothy 2:11-13

It seems as though, dear reader, that the messages of all my entries over the course of almost a year now, convicted myself as a person in the time span of a night.

When I had said a few entries back, to ask God to show you what He may not like that you do, and to help us improve in that area:
I myself realize now that as I was writing that, at the time, I hadn't done so myself.

With words I wouldn't have the ability to explain how this had happened last night the way it did. You could say it was much needed conversation with my mom, that had been repeatedly said for the past two years or so. What I didn't seem to seem to see during the first, second, or third time we had the conversation, that I would need it in the long run. I said to myself, "I'll do better."- and then not actually put the 100% effort into doing so. The combination of those two things I can tell you now, dear reader, is not a good one. Just as I said my mom is one of the most logical people I will ever know- but she is also the most bluntly honest. This I can't say is a bad thing, whatsoever. At the time I may not have liked it, but in retrospect, I needed the blunt honesty for once.

Starting from scratch is never something that's...easy. I hadn't truly given God everything, and once I realized that I did, I can say to you now, dear reader, that it's probably the most wonderful feeling you could ever feel. Giving God everything is different for everyone. Everyone has their own personal faults that they may not see at first- and exactly what they have to give up, is also different. Some of the things that I had to surrender to Him, were closely related to myself as a person, the things I thought, and things I did. These narrowed down to what I was spending my time doing at home. I would go further in explaining, but I don't find it necessary to do so in this blog. All I can say to you, dear reader, is that the importance of doing this search with God is paramount. It's difficult but there is a brighter side to it-

You see how in the verse it said, "If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is."? That's exactly how God is. He is nothing but Himself as the caring, loving, God that He is. He never, ever changes. From the time I woke up this morning, until now, things have already transpired well...differently. In a very good way. The start of a new day actually feels that way, and my interactions with people alone are not as they used to be. Again, in a very good way. The baggage, stress, over thinking, and putting down of myself was not worth it. Living, loving, giving, caring, and surrendering everything was. I will encourage you, dear reader, to do the same. Do some searching with God, within yourself, and allow Him and others He's placed in your life to help along the way. He's used my mom, my friends, and other family, to do so for me. How he does so for you I can say will be entirely different-

but will nonetheless be a changing, memorable, and blessed experience.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

The potential joy and peace that could be in our lives...

2009-05-17T13:08:00.005-05:00

is controlled by living with Him every day of our lives.

"Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness."- Colossians 2:7

I smile immensely as I write this to you, dear reader. God has shown me a lot of things have have helped me grow within myself as a person and I wish to share those things with you.

"The point of power is always in the present moment."- Louise Hay in You Can Heal Your Life

It took me a minute to fully understand that quote and how it correlated with the verse I posted above. Finally, God showed me how the two went hand-in-hand. For the past few months I personally have let things bother me that were well in the past. I would even let a few things bother me that were apart of the future. Both of these instances did no good for me. They caused mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual stress- and caused me to hurt more than anything else. That book by the way (You Can Heal Your Life), was the one my uncle had suggested to me in my last entry. When it came in, I couldn't have been happier, and every sentence within it is something to ponder. That one though, profoundly came forth on the page and imprinted within my heart.

The verse said "let your lives be built on Him". I don't know about you, dear reader, but I can't jump a few years into the future and live then. I also can't jump a few years back and live in the past. The life we are living is in the present. Every day is a new 24 hours that can be lived out for our Wonderful Creator, and be taken as a new opportunity to release our true selves through Him in everything that we do. When we fully understand that, God can do some really amazing things! Just as He never brings up ours pasts, we shouldn't either. We don't know our exact future step by step, minute by minute- so we shouldn't assume we do either. The present is how God uses us to the best of our ability, and living in it with Him, while allowing Him to mold and shape us into the men and women of God He desires for us to be, could not be any more than the most glorifying discovery in life itself.

"Never let anyone take away from your joy."
Those eight words came from my mom, whom I can say with assurance, can teach me more within one sentence than anyone else. In 1 Peter 3:8-9 it says "Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don't repay evil for evil. Don't retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it."

There are going to be times where we are hurt. For me this is what had been taking over me these past few months. Being hurt in that way, took away from the promises, the joy and, the true fulfillment in life that God had planned for me. I was so blind sighted by negativity that I wasn't able to move forward and grow. When I had talked to my mom about it, she said that to me, and I then realized that the negativity was not worth it. The Bible even says don't repay evil with evil. It says pay those who do hurt you back with a blessing! It doesn't mean you have to agree or like what they do, but nothing should take away from who God wants you to be at your absolute best. During this time I had to learn the greatest lesson of forgiveness. That, dear reader, is not always an easy lesson to learn- but what a wonderful result comes when you learn it.

I hope that you all have a phenomenal week!
Allow God to bring that peace in your life that He longs for you to have.
He's waiting to give it to you with every ounce of His power.
:)

Many blessings <3
(comments open to everyone)

The beauty of mothers...

2009-05-09T20:17:00.006-05:00

surpasses them all.

"If you honor your father and mother, 'things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.'"- Ephesians 6:3

Well if you couldn't already tell, this entry is in dedication of Mother's Day. I can't say I know directly what I may write about, but I can say that what I'll write will come from my heart.
And so it goes...

This morning I had a profound realization about my mom. I had woken up and was reading my Bible to start off the day, when she came in to tell me she was going off to work. Heading to my bathroom, she touched up the last of her makeup in the mirror. I watched her and saw the grace that she took with every step, and how with every step there was no lack in confidence. She had a presence in the room that I, dear reader, could only dream of having. One of the things my mom has taught me, without even realizing it, was how to love and care for myself. In the past I have had self-esteem issues and I would sit and talk to her about it. She would always tell me it's important to love yourself for who you are, while allowing God to mold you into the woman He wants you to be, inside and out. Other times, we'd talk about friends, trust, love, patience, and (like I said before), she is the most logical, down-to-earth, loving person I have ever met. Not many people can keep me as grounded and right in the head like she does. Without a doubt in my mind and heart, God has used her in so many ways within my life that I can't begin to say with words alone. If I could do some sort of interpretive dance, I would.

Going back to this morning, I was still beginning to wrap the thought around my head about who my mom was. She was sure of herself and stood her ground, while still showing a giving side wherever she went. I have the utmost appreciation and respect for anyone who is confident in themselves but is giving to other people- and my mom is one of them. I pray that God can do exactly as she said- which is mold me into who He wants me to be as a woman of God.

I am not writing this dear reader to "brag" about my mom. That's silly. I wrote this in dedication to my mom, and to all moms out there. This is only the tip of the iceberg for what my mom has taught me. I ask, dear reader, that you take the time to sit back and think of any of the times that you have been able to cherish with your mom. Just like any mom and daughter, there have been times where we argued and may have appeared to not get along. But when it comes down to it, our moms have shown us apart of themselves that have stuck with us in some way.

They are truly gifts from God as people, the way they give, and their unfailing love.

Happy Mother's Day (a tad bit early), to everyone.
Many Blessings.
(comments open to all)

God is...

2009-05-06T18:08:00.004-05:00

love.

"We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in his love. God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them."- 1 John 4:16

Dear reader, this is another entry that I could not keep from you. It's something that has accumulated within my mind and heart over the past few days. When I say accumulated...I mean it. So many things have been going on, and I pray I can share them with you to the best of my ability.

First off-
I love and delight to see and experience the light in other people. Again, I have mentioned this topic in another entry but it has truly hit me in a more profound way recently. I was sitting on the bus Monday, waiting to drive off from a long, tiring day at school. Usually when I look out the window, what I see never really changes. The same people walk by, do the same things, talk to the same people- and it all seemed quite routine. Expecting absolutely nothing out of what I usually did, I saw someone doing something different. A friend of mine, whom I had met a few months ago, was walking by. At first I thought she was just talking with her hands during whatever conversation she was having. Technically...she was. I watched her as she passed by the buses talking to a girl in sign language. Her face was beaming and with the utmost sincerity coming from her heart. It was as though I could feel part of herself just with her walking by. She didn't care what other people thought, but was purely exemplifying love. I didn't even have to be apart of the conversation, or understand what she was saying, to feel that she was giving all of herself for someone else. Giving genuinely and with love.

Yesterday-
I am so thankful and blessed that my mother is apart of my life the way she is. I could be way up in the clouds, thinking too much, and she will bring me back down to earth with logic and 100% honesty. We were talking about what had been going on with my lately, when in the middle of the conversation she told me to call my uncle. She said that he had heard a sermon this past Sunday that she thought would help me better than what she could attempt to explain. Not taking her advice at first (since it was dinner time), I ended up calling him before I went to bed. With what had been going on, I sat on the phone almost in complete silence (replying whenever necessary). A lot of times, as my grandmother says, it is best to sit in silence and just listen. During that conversation, my uncle began to point out things that had been on my heart and weighing me down for months. The more he spoke, the more my heart started feeling lighter, knowing that God was using him to speak to me. What he was telling me about was love. He asked me, "What is love?" I said to him that I only knew what was in the Bible and from others showing their love to me. He asked again what is love, Jessica? I gave him the same answer. Then he said to me:

God is love.

He went on saying that the sermon was about God's love and that we should be loving to others just as God would love. One of the strongest points that hit my heart the most was when he said, "We may not sometimes love their ways (even though we all make mistakes), but we should always love others as God's children and our brothers and sisters in Christ." That, dear reader, hit home for me. The one thing I was struggling with and not knowing how to deal with, and here he was, giving me the ultimate and perfect answer. God is love. On top of this, for a few weeks I had been looking for a new book to read. What else does my uncle give me?
A suggestion of a book to read to expand on what we were talking about.

Dear reader-
There is no specific topic behind this entry. These accounts are for you to take to heart in whichever way you choose. All I can say to you, dear reader, is that when God is trying to show you something- He will. When God wants to talk to you, directly or through someone else- He will. When God wants to show you His love with all of His power and through all of His ways- He will. If God wants to make Himself more known to you- He will. It's the opening of our hearts, our minds, bodies and spirits that will allow those "He wills", and you know what?

He will gladly be waiting for you to come to Him.
Many blessings <3
Have a wonderful rest of your week.

Although there is death...

2009-04-28T19:52:00.008-05:00

there is also life.

"...'Let's go, too-and die with Jesus.'"-John 11:16

Dear reader, I could not keep this entry from you today by any means. God has truly placed something on my heart today and I want to gladly share it with you.

A few weeks ago, I was outside walking my dog. I began to look around a everything around me and specifically noticed the trees. I started to think about how just a few months ago during the ice storm, how all of the trees were broken, tattered, and appeared to be dead. Now, looking at them surrounding me, I couldn't tell. There were leaves thriving off of the trees as green as green could be. They were still standing tall and strong.

Today, was strange. I felt as though I was just walking around lifeless. I wasn't being my true self and lacking in sleep didn't help either. I got home and realized how I had been acting. As I was cleaning off the deck, I thought about that moment when I was thinking of the trees and God showed me this:

As "dead" as I was feeling today, God wasn't going to just leave me there. Remember the story of Lazarus and how he was raised from the dead? Jesus simply said,

"Lazarus come out!"..."And the dead man came out, his hands and feet bound in grave clothes, his face wrapped in a headcloth. Jesus told them, 'Unwrap him and let him go!'" John 11:43

He didn't tell them to just leave him in everything that proclaimed him as dead (the headcloth and bindings). He was telling them to remove those things holding him back so he could LIVE FULLY again.
Even Jesus Himself endured humiliating torture for our sins, and did not stay dead. For He Himself also rose on the third day to go to Heaven!
"Wasn't it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?"-Luke 24:26

"While he was blessing them, he left them (the disciples), and was taken up to heaven."-Luke 24:51

Now after reading these passages, the verse I posted at the very beginning (John 11:16) stood out to me, and touched me the most. Before Jesus and his disciples decided to go back to Judea, Thomas says that they should go "too- and die with Jesus". We each have had to battle through our own desires and ways that prevent our relationship with God from growing. We have to let those parts of ourselves to die, so that we can live for our Lord and Savior.

You see?
Just like the trees.
Just like Lazarus.
Just like Jesus.

Even when we feel dead, as though we are losing our way, and not being our full humble selves,
or when we haven't let the things die that are holding us back from our relationship with Jesus Christ- dying of ourselves and living for Him will let us LIVE. He is not going to leave us as dead, but will restore us to our complete potential.

I hope that you have a blessed week <3 and to all of the new Blogger Followers and readers of this blog, I thank you so much for all of your love and support. You are amazing beyond words :)

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

"If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it."- Matthew 16:25

With joy...

2009-04-27T18:04:00.004-05:00

praise follows.

"How amazing are the deeds of our Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them."-Psalm 111:3

This dear reader is an entry of praise. I don't know how long it will be exactly, but I do hope that God places on my heart what He would like for me to write to you. Off we go...

From these past few days, after sitting down at the computer to think of how I was going to update this, all I could think about was the word "praise". This past weekend was prom, along with many other spectacular and memorable moments that I can't fully write down without taking of a lot of space within this entry. But I'd like to ask you, dear reader:

How much time do we take out of our day to simple praise and say thank you to God?

I thought about this quite a bit as the day went on. I thought about this morning how I could have taken time out to spend time with God, but didn't take advantage of it. Other moments like this took place in my head and I said, what on earth? (to myself). I've been praying for God to open up times for me to talk to Him one on one and He's been doing it all along! I would like to say to you, that whether it's singing in the shower, going outside with a journal and writing, or just simply talking to God- spending quality time with Him is SO incredibly important and fulfilling.

As I said, this past...few weeks have been so eyeopening. God has been showing me small ways I could change to make myself a better person, along with positively influencing others. He has brought new people into my life that are building my relationship with Him. He has helped restore relationships to make strong friendships. He has shown me that there are going to be opportunities where I can shine for Him, even if I think I've missed one (recently happened today). He has been showing me how to be myself, through Him, and with Him.

I'm so thankful for everything God has done for me, and I encourage you, dear reader, to think about what He may have done for you :)

And the most refreshing thing to know is that there are SO many things He has yet to do :)
Many blessings <3
Have an amazing week.
(comments open to all)

"Though our feelings come and go, God’s love for us does not."
-C.S. Lewis

What brings us down...

2009-04-19T22:39:00.003-05:00

only makes us stronger.

"We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how God dearly loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love."- Romans 5:3-5

I sit here writing to you, dear reader, with a sniffly red nose, watery eyes, but smiles as to what is about to take place. The "strengthening of character" that is taking place in my life.

This past weekend has been amazing and trying at the same time. Today was probably the most interesting and "heart-tugging" of the two. I don't know what it is, but for some reason when I am confronted with to-the-point criticism, it hits me harder than anything else. Just within the past few minutes, I had gone downstairs to ask my mom to take me to school in the morning. Usually I leave with my step-dad, to prevent from being late on the bus, or waking up my mom. I attempted to explain my reasoning behind my need for her to take me (with an essay and packet that I have yet to do). These reasons would not only keep me up late, but definitely prevent me from getting the full sleep I needed and wanted. Well, dear reader, her first response was "Well you haven't taken me into consideration with this."

I sure enough didn't.

Instead of storming off and getting upset, I admit, I went upstairs and prayed and cried. This was not the first time this weekend I had been told in some way to think about the other person. Not only this but in all instances by family. My mom didn't have to get up early in the morning, therefor, why not sacrifice a few hours of sleep so SHE could sleep in for once? I didn't think of this when I asked her about taking me to school and it made me angry with myself. On more than one occasion this weekend, I had not just stepped up and did my part for others- without shortsightedly putting myself first. The saying "it starts at home," is so incredibly true. I would rather my mom say to me that one thing to spark my heart to change, than go out to friends and those I don't know with the wrong frame of heart. So this is what I will share with you dear reader to close this entry:

From tonight at youth group, one of the adults brought up the story of Jesus praying in the garden. He asked his disciples to stay awake and pray, but in the end, fell asleep. Jesus asked if they could not have prayed for just one hour with him rather than sleeping. Instead of us just asking doing something thinking of ourselves, we should be able to sacrifice a bit of our time and effort to think of others first. With thinking of others and making God more and more apart of our lifestyle, our desires become less and less (John 3:30). Caring for others just as He has cared for us, will allow our full potential of love to show.

Although I was angry at myself for being so blindly selfish, just as the verse says, endurance along with the troubled times brings character. That, dear reader, is what I look forward to the most :)

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Forgive..

2009-04-14T16:39:00.006-05:00

just as He forgave.

"Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourself with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothes yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.- Colossians 3:12-15

I have come to realize that I am stubborn beyond belief.
I am writing this to you today, dear reader, because I feel that writing would be the best way for me to come full circle with the realization that has been placed on my heart.
I guess you could say that I started the entry today with the statement of me being stubborn, because it's true. Remember a few entries ago, when I mentioned that God will point things out to you what He doesn't like, even though it may hurt?

This is what He's pointed out to me.

I don't know exactly where to start. The reason why I used the verse above, is because it clearly points out what my stubbornness affects the most: my ability to forgive. There have been many times where I may have done something to someone else- and they forgave me. This also goes the other way around. Lately, I have had something burning inside me that is continuously hurting me- and EVEN after reading that verse last night, and praying that I could move on: I keep being stubborn and not forgiving. I want to say to you, dear reader, that not allowing your heart to forgive is painful. For me, it only piles on top of becoming annoyed easier, and having this anger that I keep to myself.

But remember, in my other entry, how I said God is never going to let you go? This is more true than anything else. He's never going to show you something and not help you through it. This, dear reader, brings me peace at heart. God is just waiting for us to come to Him and give Him everything. For me, it would be giving Him my stubbornness, so that I would be able to do one of the GREATEST things that HE did for ALL of us- forgive. There is no possible way that we can fully be our true selves, with the love that He has, when there is something lingering within us that we haven't let go of. I never said the process of letting go is easy. It never is. But what makes it more fulfilling when we let troubles go, we can actually live!
It makes us able to show His compassion,
love,
peace,
care,
and joy with other people.

"Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal's death on a cross. Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."- Philippians 2:6-11

When we give up everything, God blesses us by giving us the gift to LIVE to our full potential, instead of harboring burdens that slowly leave us walking around lifeless.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Think of...

2009-04-10T16:54:00.009-05:00

what He did.

"Jesus called out to them,'Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!' And they left their nets at once and followed him."-Matthew 4:19 & 20

Strangely enough, this week being the one leading up to Easter, is also the week where I found that verse. It compelled me when I read it because on more than one account, while Jesus is gathering his disciples, it says they left whatever they were doing at once and followed him. The verses didn't say, "they sat and thought about following Jesus, then followed him,"- but that they got right up and did as He asked them to do.

I am a very visual person. Even in school, it's better for me to learn when I can see a picture of what the teacher is trying to get us to understand. Yesterday, for the first time, I sat down while eating dinner and flipped through the movie channels. It just so happened that the Passion of the Christ was on. Something hit me hard in my stomach. Ever since the movie came out, I had a "fear" of seeing it. Knowing of any excruciating pain others may go through, and the reasons behind it, breaks my heart. Seeing there was about a half an hour left, I knew exactly what part it was at- the crucifixion.

Sitting there with a plate full of dinner in front of me, I was frozen. Although it may not have been Jesus Christ himself, I watched where they brutally beat him. I watched through where they mercilessly nailed his hands and feet to the cross. My jaw tightened trying not to cry (my brother was sitting at the table with me). I cannot, dear reader, describe to you with words exactly how I felt or describe what I saw. Barely being able to finish eating, I got up, washed off my plate and ran into my room and wept. What Jesus Christ went through was far worse than any movie could portray it to be. It went on for longer than any movie could portray it to be. I had not truly realized until then exactly what He did-

just because he LOVED us.

Today I was in a sort of haze- while continuously going back to yesterday. Then as I got home from school I thought of what I read at the end of Matthew this morning.

After hearing the instructions from the angel at His tomb:
"The women ran quickly from the tomb. They were very frightened but also filled with great joy, and they rushed to give the disciples the angel's message."-Matthew 28:8

"Jesus came and told his disciples, 'I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age."- Matthew 28: 18-20

Although Jesus Christ suffered a brutal death on a cross, He did it not only because He loved us, but because He was coming back! It was all apart of God's glorious plan for Him to be resurrected and take His place in heaven. AND, every day of our lives He is with us everywhere we go to truly enjoy every minute of life that He died for! The women did not go from the tomb angry or in despair. It says they were not only frightened but filled with great joy!

While it is still on my heart as to what He did for me and for you, dear reader, it makes me smile that not all was lost- and that it wasn't the end. We are never alone and are always guided by his perfect grace forever. We should be able to set our lives down "at once," just like His disciples did and allow Him to take over every aspect of our lives. Then we will know that peace and fulfillment in life that He meant for us to be blessed with. How wonderful- that through every struggle and pain we may be going through,
He is able to take us through every moment of it.

Happy Easter everyone :) It's never too early, haha.
Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Seeing things straightforward...

2009-03-30T20:37:00.004-05:00

prevents from missing the things that are hidden.

"Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."- Psalm 139:24

Tonight as my family was finishing dinner, we turned to "Dancing with the Stars" (since nothing else was on). My grandmother, brother, and I watched a couple do some dance- that I can't remember, and when they made their final pose, we literally applauded. In our eyes, they had performed in ways none of us would be able to in a lifetime. Continuing to watch, we waited for the judges' replies.

What the judges had to say was not completely different from what we thought, but it surely didn't line up in some areas. A few of the comments they made, included the fact that they were off rhythm during a portion of the dance, and other parts they lacked a little energy. My grandmother and I, being the last two watching, looked at each other puzzled. How did they pick out such small things to comment about? Don't get me wrong- they gave the couple praise as well- but we just couldn't understand where they saw such mistakes.

Once I read that verse above, I started thinking about those few moments of watching the show. Those judges were professionals. They would "obviously" catch things that the average viewer wouldn't be able to. They've danced and judged all their lives. From what they have learned, they've been able to improve and have that ability to see those tiny errors a couple may make.

God doesn't make mistakes. He is perfect in every way and knew every aspect of our lives before we were even born. Something that is hard for me to deal with, is when someone points out something I may do, in a harsh or negative way. Other times it's a hard thing for me to take criticism at all. But those times where I may not have liked that criticism, in the end, I was able to learn from it and actually grow as a person.

There will be days where God will point something out to us that He doesn't like. These things could be the kind of music we may listen to, things we say, etc. Most likely, whatever it may be, may hurt to realize, and could possibly be even harder to give up (especially if it's something that takes away from spending time with Him). What's most important though is that God isn't going to just point something out to us and then laugh in our faces. He's going to help us overcome those things that have been taking up so much of our time. He's going to express His love towards us so that we may learn to not gravitate back to our old ways.

He will point out those things that "offend" Him as the verse states above,
but He will never leave us abandoned to grow on our own.
He is there every step of the way.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

When we give with compassion...

2009-03-24T21:20:00.007-05:00

we offer our hearts to others.

"God has given each of you a gift from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Use them well to serve one another."- 1 Peter 4:10

So, this is something that happened to me a few weeks ago, but at the time I didn't think much of it. For some reason while I was on the computer, it popped into my head and why, I will later explain.

I was with a friend of mine, looking around different stores to try on prom dresses. After running into a few different stores we came into TJ Maxx. My desire for looking at a prom dress dimmed when we found out that the other store had a better selection. With that in mind, I looked for casual "springy" dresses instead.

I walked up to a rack and found a baby blue dress with white polka dots. I looked at the dress not sure if I wanted to take it into the dressing room. Finally, I took it off the rack and folded it over my arm, when a woman came and tapped on my shoulder. She asked me if I would be trying on the dress. Since I wasn't planning on buying it, I gladly gave it to her. Handing it over, her face lit up as thanked me. I wasn't sure why until she told me the story behind it. A friend of hers was going to have a baby shower. The woman and other acquaintances (including her friend and her husband), and been praying for her friend to have a child for the past few years. There were many unsuccessful attempts until finally, they were recently blessed with a baby boy, whom was going to be born later this year.

The baby shower theme?
Baby blue and white polka dots.

Like I said at that time, I didn't think much of the incident. I shared my happiness with her and told her that I was glad to have picked up the dress. To be honest though, it wasn't necessarily my doing when it came to picking up that dress. This was obviously something of great importance, and looking back on it, it was a blessing. For that moment in time, God used me as a blessing in someone else's life, whether it be big or small. That being said, I would like to share this:

There are times when God will use us to be a blessing in someone's life and we not even know it's happening. The most important thing though is that 100% of the time, willingly, we should be a living sacrifice for Him, and allow ourselves to be that support, care, and love for someone else. As God continues to grow within us, the more we will be able to express Him and His ways, through ourselves, to other people.

That's where we can make our lives more filled His love than we ever imagined.

Many blessings.
<3

He is...

2009-03-23T13:34:00.004-05:00

my One and Only.

"It is the bridegroom who marries the bride, and the best man is simply glad to stand with him and hear his vows. Therefore, I am filled with joy at his success. He must become greater and greater, I must become less and less."-John 3:29 & 30

The other day I went back and read all of my old entries. Lately, I realized that I've been using the words smile, laugh, happy, joy- quite a bit. I didn't see this as a bad thing, but a blessing. When everything came full circle, my reasoning behind those smiles and moments of laughter all became clearer than ever.

I usually don't "freak out" or become overly excited about a particular book. This entire week I've been waiting on the book Authentic Beauty by Leslie Ludy to come in. Every day went by a little slower when I would come home and NOT see it on my desk. Finally, it arrived on my desk Friday. I don't know what it was, but I had to start reading it. Not from the mere excitement about it coming in, but just simply the desire to read it. From what I understand, after looking at Leslie's website and going further into the book- it has affected many others other than myself. I would like to share with you, dear reader, just how it affected me these past few days. (and I've yet to even finish the book)

I can confidently say that I never really truly understood what it was to have a "relationship" with Jesus Christ, before now. All this time to me that seemed to be fulfilled by reading my Bible, praying every now and then, going to youth group, etc. etc. etc. But the one thing I was doing that hurt my relationship with Him, was how I would consider the aspects of an earthly relationship much greater than I would with Him. It was as though in my heart I knew He loved me, heard my prayers, and was always there for me- but I never came to Him in the the midst of Him calling out for me to do just that.

I don't think I can describe to you with words, dear reader, how God has been transforming my heart and way of life these past few weeks, months, and so on. The gradual process has worked up until now where I can say to myself the following things:

As of now, I am more focused on my relationship with Jesus Christ than an earthly one. This I can tell will be "hard" after putting so much effort on the latter. But there is such a joy in my heart to know that He can provide for me my heart's deepest desires and fill my life with the blesings He knows I need- not just want. I can sit down and have a conversation with Him, just as I would anyone else, and He will talk back. He will walk with me wherever I go, and if I need a shoulder to cry, He is there. With just His presence in my life I can say "I love you." to someone that loves me with every ounce of His being. That love will exude through me to share with others in hopes that they will not see me, but my loving Savior. Any relationship takes time, but this, dear reader, is the most beautiful one I will ever know.

The satisfaction of the heart and being is a grand blessing.
A relationship with Jesus Christ?
Yes.
I'm more than thrilled and in awe to have the chance to know Him
and for Him to get to know me, every single day.

Many blessings.
<3
(comments open to all)

God works in funny...

2009-03-20T22:11:00.009-05:00

ways that can do nothing but make you- smile.

"For your royal husband delights in your beauty; honor him for he is your lord."- Psalm 45:11

Thanks to Chloe sharing this verse during FCA, I was able to use it in today's entry. You know, I love how when God works a little bit at time, in the end, everything comes together into something so wonderful- that we never expected. I guess you could say that lately I've been working on trying to see the beauty within myself that God sees in me. I want to be able to grow and not only see the beauty within myself, but also in other people. For some reason, I feel as though I've already written an entry like this one- but I will continue on anyways.

This past week, little things like the verse above would appear in my life out of nowhere. At first I would think "Woah, thanks God," and smile and have a great day, knowing that God was with me throughout it and was showing Himself more and more to me. Today during "Friday Reading Day" in English, I had close to no desire to read. Well, I ended up hitting a passage in my book Jane Eyre that said this:

"We are, and must be, one and all, burdended with faults in this world: but the time will soon come when, I trust, we shall put them off in putting off our corruptible bodies; when debasement and sin will fall from us with this cumbrous frame of flesh, and only the spark of the spirit will remain- the impalpable principle of light and thought, pure as when it left the Creator to inspire the creature; whence it came it will return, perhahps again to be communicated to some being higher than man- perhaps to pass through gradation os flory, from the pale human soul to brighten to the seraph!"- Helen Burns

Haha! I can only laugh and smile right now. There is SUCH a glowing beauty within every single one of us that is immeasurable and everlasting, no matter how bad things may seem or how we view ourselves. On top of that, God shows us things we need to see within ourselves daily- whether it be reaching out to other people, learning patience, etc. Either way, He shows us the beauty within ourselves that lets the beauty on the outside shine even brighter.

I think this is why there are some people that I see every day that make me feel happy and at peace when I'm around them. Within their hearts there's such a love that can't be hidden, but can only be expressed towards others. I long for that kind of love, and I pray that God will bring me there.

Discover the beauty within yourself that God sees in you.
The process is not short, but takes time,
on God's time.
Yet along the way- it's an experience that will provide
the happiness that's indescribable.

Many blessings and have a wonderful Spring Break,
<3

NOTE ABOUT THE NEW LAYOUT
I am keeping this layout, but I wanted to explain a few things. If you want to follow my blog, you have to go to your Dashboard then where it says Blogs I'm Following click ADD at the bottom. After, just copy and paste my homepage link and you're ready to go :)

If you'd like to read older entries from my blog, on the right hand side there is a sectioned titled The Archives. Underneath are all of the pages for entries by month and year. With this layout there, isn't a "Older posts" link at the bottom since I'm using "Classic Template" instead of the new widget.
Hope this helped ^_^
(I might just change this thing later anyways, haha)

We may change...

2009-03-16T19:15:00.004-05:00

but He remains the same.

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever."- Hebrews 13:8

Yesterday, I was looking through my devotional and ran into that scripture in the back. I don't know what it was, but I felt like I should share it with you in a new entry. This one won't be long, but I thought I would say this:

There are days where I know that I may not be the best person I can be. I've said in past entries that I have this habit of looking back on my day- and at times I don't like what I look back on. What makes me happy, is the fact that no matter how bad we may think we mess up, God is still going to be loving as He always has been. Don't get me wrong, God will make it known to us, whether we see at first or not, if we're falling from Him, or doing something that we shouldn't be doing. The wonderful thing about that is, that God shows us through love, and will always be there, with love, to help us through whatever may be going on.

How reassuring is that? When we don't know who to talk to, we can always turn to God, who isn't going to ever change. As long as we open up and listen to what He has to say when we talk to Him, He'll tell us what He knows we need to hear. If anyone, God knows us best- no matter how much we change- for better or worse.

He's the same every single day.
He's loving every single day.
God is God,
and that's nothing short of amazing.

For some reason I want to continue writing.

I'm very excited for the next few years coming up.
Hopefully my youth group is going to start a discipleship program. When Matt, my youth pastor, first told us about it, I couldn't have been happier. It was as though not only was the youth group going to take a step as a whole, but we are going to also reach out to people that we may not even know. That's always been a hard thing for me to do on a whim. Especially with the fear of rejection or being put down. But something that makes it easier and easier for me to do that is this verse:

"You see, we don't go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus' sake. For God, who said, "Let there be light in the darkness," has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ."-2 Corinthians 4:5 & 6

God is going to use each and every one of us for something special, that will not only allow us reach out to other people, but help us learn a little bit more about ourselves. Without God, we wouldn't know who we are or even grow as a person. So, as the verse says, we're not preaching about ourselves, but about Him. Exciting right? I sure think so.

Many Blessings
<3

Have you ever felt

2009-03-07T22:09:00.009-06:00

...so incredibly indescribable with how you feel, that you just smile and laugh?

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name goes all the glory for your unfailing love and faithfulness."-Psalm 115:1

Hmmm...exactly where I want to being with this entry I have not the slightest idea, but do know that as I am writing, there is one of the biggest smiles going across my face. Not only does the verse describe how I feel on the inside at this very moment, but the reason is because of the quote that is within the picture to the left. The combination as to why, I'll hopefully be led to write down within the words that follow.

I would think, far too much.

Usually I don't sit down and read a new book that I get. It ends up sitting on my bookshelf, doing just that...sitting there. For some reason though, while at Barnes and Noble, after getting my ACT book, I went to look for the book "The Shack" by William Paul Young. I had seen a few people from my youth group read it, along with other places here and there. Once I found it, since I started reading it I haven't put it down. I came across a section that made me not only cry, but made a whirlwind of sense as to why I would get so upset sometimes with the tiniest of things.

I would think, far too much.

I guess there really isn't much I can say. Really, what I would like to share can easily be said "in a nutshell":
When we get upset with ourselves, others, dilemas, etc. etc. etc. we sometimes tend to overthink. I know I have and still do. But when it comes down to it, some of the things that we may see as detrimental or of dire importance, can be narrowed down to the "simple" fact is that there really isn't much thinking that needs to be involved. The ultimate thing that we do need to do is have trust in God. Just as any relationship, there is trust, and with God, it's the same. The relationship with Him should involve 100% of our trust. Every day He walks with us, whether we realize it or not. He's there to listen when we want to talk to Him, and will reply with the love and answers we need. What we have to do is acknowledge that He's there and put more and more of our faith in Him- rather than trying to think too much, and doing things for ourselves. We become our own middle man with all of the excessive thinking, when really, we don't have to be.

There's a reason why God loves us so much,
and that's why He's always there when we need Him.

That's something to think about :)

Many blessings
<3

There is no need...

2009-03-02T21:51:00.002-06:00

to go to sleep angry.

"And 'don't sin by letting anger control you.' Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil."- Ephesians 4:26

I remember in around 4th grade, we had a counselor that came in every so often each month to give us basic lessons in life. These things included manners, self-image, etc.

I was on the bus today and I came across that verse above. For some reason it stuck with me. I didn't know where exactly it was at first when I frantically began looking for it again . It's funny how God works when you know He wants you to do something. Eventually when I found it, I sat down at the computer and here I am writing. I don't know what exactly I'm going to write about in this entry, but please know that I hope you get something out of it, as I have with what I learned today.

Anyways, I can clearly recall a lesson the counselor taught us that day. It was a lesson about anger and how we were supposed to handle it. Near the end of the lesson, I remember Ms. Reeves, the counselor, saying, "What's the use in going to bed angry at something?" Then, it didn't stick with me exactly what she meant, but now it makes perfect sense.

There have been days where something may have happened, and it surely didn't leave me in the best of moods. Looking back on it, going to bed angry, was no better than waking up in the morning thinking about what you went to bed angry about. Waking up to what made you angry, allows your mind to think about it for the rest of the day- not making the day or the situation any better. It's miserable.

With anger burning inside of us, how is it possible to show love to others if we have such animosity toward one person or situation? It even says in 1 John 4:8- "But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love."

Going to bed angry and allowing that anger to take over us gradually prevents us from doing one of the most important things God wants us to do which is to show love.

Many blessings <3
(comments open to all)

Knowing that someone is there...

2009-02-24T16:55:00.008-06:00

will always keep you going.

"Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed."- Ecclesiastes 4:9

Today was one that made me smile, for many reasons.

This morning was FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) and instead of hearing a testimony or sharing a specific topic, we broke off into different groups and prayed with one another. The group I was with had girls in it that I knew, but for some reason, there was such a sense of closeness and peace that was more than I can describe. As we prayed, we were able to lift each other up and when we were finished- we still knew that with each other there would always be comfort if we needed it from one another. The funny thing is, is that we didn't have to say that. Through experiencing God with one another, there was no need for words.

At the end of the day today, I was in my English class making up tests from a few weeks a go. As I was taking them, a friend of mine was talking to a few other students in the seminar class. He has his bible open, and was sincerely answering whatever questions they asked. I couldn't understand what they were asking questions about, but the fact that he was being genuine with them and sharing God's Word to answer their questions, made me want to finish my tests as quickly as possible so I could just sit there and listen as well. I loved the fact that he did that. Not only that, but as I was taking my test, it got me to thinking that with God by my side, I could do the same thing. He has the power to use me, and give me the strength to affect someone else's life just by sharing about Him. How awesome is that?

I chose the verse above because it seemed to sum up how my day went overall. Although it specifically says "two people are better than one," I think it's also saying this. Whether it be a more personal connection (like the prayer circle I was in this morning), or from listening to witnessing from afar (like in seminar at the end of the day)- knowing that there is a Christian brother or sister who is willing to BE there for you in itself will not only make you stronger, but have an even greater fire for God.
With knowing that they will be there for you,
and the happiness coming from that knowledge,
will encourage you to use God and His love, to be there for others.

Many blessings.
<3
(comments open to all)

Discover the...

2009-02-19T16:49:00.004-06:00

leaders in your life.

"Remember your leaders who taught you the word of God. Think of all the good that has come from their lives, and follow the example of their faith."- Hebrews 13:7

To start this off, I'd like to say thank you to Brad M. for being the main influences of this blog today. If you ever do read this, I greatly appreciated what you shared <3 style="font-weight: bold;">"But you, lazybones, how long will you sleep? When will you wake up? A little extra sleep, a little more slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest- then poverty will pounce on you like a bandit; scarcity will attack you like an armed robber."-Proverbs 6:9-11

In all honesty, school has become far more stressful than I thought it was going to be this semester. As of now, I'm currently behind in three of my classes, and am still attempting to catch up. But when I looked back as to why I was so behind- I realized one of the reasons was my own procrastination. Reading that verse, along with a current test grade, was sort of a wake-up call saying, "You've got so much more potential. USE it."

Coming home today, feeling somewhat defeated from thinking about this school business going on, I began to talk to my friend Joy. As we talked about studying and school, etc.- she said that the most important thing is to just hand it over to God and that things WILL work themselves out.

So just when I was thinking that I thought the situation at hand was more than I could handle, I almost forgot that God doesn't give us more than we can handle. I don't like admitting things sometimes, especially when it comes to schoolwork. What I'd like to share with you dear reader is this:

"How much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong win battle and put whole armies to flight. Women received their loved ones back again from death."-Hebrews 11:32-35

You see? Having faith in God and putting 100% of your trust in him will not only get you through whatever troubles you may be going through- but also make the "weakness into strength".

Remember and acknowledge the leaders in your life, dear reader,
because telling them things that are on your mind whether it be school,
relationships,
home problems,
spiritual growth,
absolutely ANYTHING:

they may help you remember some of the most important lessons.

Many blessings.
<3

Remember...

2009-02-14T14:24:00.007-06:00

the ultimate love.

"See, God has come to save me. I will trust in him and not be afraid. The Lord God is my strength and my song; he has given me victory."- Isaiah 12:2

I'd like to write about something that my mom and grandmother did for me last Valentine's Day, that I look back on and say, wow. How great God's love is.

I remember I used to get really upset about not having a Valentine. For some reason I always loved teddy bears and wanted to get one from "that special someone", I guess you could say. Knowing that I was upset about it being Valentine's Day and all- my mom went out and bought me a teddy bear, that I still have to this day. On top of that my grandmother bought me one as well while she was in town.

At that time I saw it as something that was out of sympathy. "They're just being this way because they know I'm sad about not having a Valentine." Yet on the inside it made me truly grateful that they went out of their way to make me happy that day. But wait:
Who made these people to be in my life as my family?

God.

I may not have known it then, but now I can say that it was God saying, "Hey, remember that My love for you, and the love of your family and friends is what's most important." God, my family, and my friends make me truly at peace and happy- and they all give me the greatest love anybody could ever ask for. Again, I'm single on Valentine's Day (and always have been)- but who needs a Valentine, a boyfriend, or girlfriend to have love? There's nothing wrong with having one- please understand that. But remember that there is a love from God and those He includes in our lives that is unfathomable.

Happy Valentine's Day everybody :)
Say, I love you to someone today.
Mean it from your heart,
and many blessings.
<3

Take a look...

2009-02-11T17:27:00.007-06:00

at the bigger picture.

"For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders. And he will be called; Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. His government and its peace will never end. He will rule with fairness and justice from the throne of his ancestor David for all eternity. The passionate commitment of the Lord of Heaven's Armies will make this happen!"- Isaiah 9:6-7

There isn't one specific topic I would like to talk about today. More so something that I did today when I got home.

To be completely honest, dear reader, today was a day where it started off well, felt off in between, then came back full circle. I have had things on my mind that I can't begin to explain- but when I narrowed it down, what I seemed to be forgetting was the big picture. The fact that although there may be trivial things running through my mind, God has something greater planned for me that I can't begin to imagine.

On your own time, dear reader, I ask you to grab a piece of paper, something to write with, and write down the blessings God has done for you that come to mind. For me writing them down helped, but even if you don't write them down, think about them.This is what I did today, and the list could have kept going for much longer than it did. Blessings from just being able to wake up this morning to something personal in your life. I don't know what happened between me writing those down to now, but I thought of this:

We will be disappointed. There will be times where things don't seem like they're going to turn out ok. The one thing we have to remember though is that God is greater than those small things we may see as the burdens in our lives. Through those disappointments and times of hurt, God will reveal his plans to us day by day telling us "I've got you." Even more amazing- He's never going to let us go. Having that reassurance knowing that He has everything under control is beautiful. The verse above talks about Jesus being born and the titles he will be called- all beginning when He was a child! Even before His birth, it was known that He was going to be all of the things that were stated before- a "Wonderful Counselor" and "Mighty God". It doesn't say "He's just a child and can't do very much."- but it's talking about all of the things that He would do, has done, and still does for us every day.

It's looking at the bigger picture.

I leave that for you <3
Many blessings.
(comments open to all)

Your life...

2009-02-08T10:32:00.003-06:00

is meant to be intertwined with someone else's.

"Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens! Praise him from the skies! Praise him, all his angels! Praise him, all the armies of heaven! Praise him, sun and moon! Praise him, all you twinkling stars! Praise him, skies above! Praise him, vapors high above the clouds! Let every created thing give praise to the Lord, for he issued his command, and they came into being. He set them in place forever and ever. His decree will never be revoked."- Psalm 148 1-6

I can't believe it has been two weeks since I've gotten the chance to sit down and write. To be completely honest, I did have the opportunity, but I didn't know what to write. Then as of yesterday, the topic that's been sitting on my mind was finally made clear. So it's what I will write about today.

None of us know the affect we will have on another person's life.

Usually we never do. Through our actions, what we say, and how we go about things without even interacting with someone can affect their lives. For instance, I remember the time when I saw my best friend cry for the first time because of what someone did to her. It may not have been directly to me, but seeing my friend that hurt also hurt me. In the verse above it states that "He set them in place forever and ever. His decree will never be revoked." The sun is in a place for a reason, the moon is in a place for a reason, the sky is in a place for a reason, along with the stars and everything else He has created- including ourselves. It may seem obvious as to why the sun is in the sky, but at the same time:

Have we really sat back and thought about our affects on other people and this world?

More recently in my life, there have been people that were brought into my life that gradually are becoming more and more apart of it. When I'm around them, I feel happy and that although I haven't known them for very long, I can sit with them and tell them exactly what's on my heart and they will listen. People that I don't know very well, I see walking down the hall and I say to myself, "Wow. What a beautiful person they are." And it's just the way they are. It's effortless. I can't help but wonder if God has put that within myself to be that light and purpose in someone else's life. Like the way I look at those people whom I'm glad to call my friends. For myself personally, it's been put on my heart to learn about myself more, come to terms with a few things, and it would allow myself to reach out even more.

Dear reader, I encourage you to look at yourself. Get to know yourself more and talk to God about it. Talk to him about about briging those times where even if you don't interact with that person,

to be that purpose in their life.

I am thoroughly...

2009-01-25T12:36:00.004-06:00

and genuinely excited.

"Young people, it's wonderful to be young! Enjoy every minute of it. do everything you want to do; take it all in. But remember that you must give an account to God for everything you do. So refuse to worry and keep your body healthy. But remember that youth, with a whole life before you is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 11:9,10

It felt very strange to not have written in so long, and after asking God to tell me what to write- running across the verse above was something that made me smile more than anything.

As I read back over that verse, I began to see the word "young" differently. You can be in your adolescent years or an elder. You can be any age. Being young to me from that verse, begins with the realization of knowing that God is in control of your life- and seeing all of the things he has in store. With that realization it's as though a new life has begun! You're young again, and just beginning to learn and grow. Knowing that God will guide us down whatever paths we take, all we need to do is "enjoy every minute of it".

The verse also says to "give an account to God for everything that you do," and we must always remember to do that. Even though the verse says to "take it all in" (life), we still need to acknowledge the things God does for us. We can do so by spreading His Word. Giving thanks for the things that He does. Showing respect and care towards our family, friends, and other people God blesses us with. Being there for those who need help. Doing things that you love and using the talents God gives you.
Actually living,
and being able to cherish the life God gives us to has indescribable results.

I guess there are other reasons as to why I am writing this entry. I began to think about the friends I know that are graduating this year,
the friends that I need to get back in touch with,
the reconnection I need to make with my family,
and most importantly, learning how to enjoy my life more and more with God by my side.

One thing I'd like, is for you to stop and think about memories. Memories from when you may have been a child, or from just the other day. Now think of all the memories that have yet to come ahead of you. These are not only memories but true blessings. The times of our lives that have made some of the greatest impacts because God brought them our way. Our lives have so much more each and every day- and although we don't know how much time there is in our lives,
who we are going to meet,
where we're going to go,
what decisions we have to make,
how we're going to get things done-

God gives us the blessing of having this life to live and everything along the way.
<3

Many blessings.
(comments open to everyone)

We will always...

2009-01-19T19:17:00.009-06:00

be learning.

"But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don't forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it."
James 1:25

At some point in our life we've had to take a test. Of course you have to study for that test, to know the information, and hopefully pass. There are times where we may not study for a test and do just fine on it- but a little study time, would have made the score even better.

The thing is though, just like you would study for anything else, studying God's Word is important. I'm still learning how to find what works for me. Everyone has different means of doing so though. Some may do their studies in one sitting, while others may take weeks and months to study a topic. As I was cleaning out my bookshelf, I found a book that breaks down different topics from clothes to love- with verses directly from the Bible. I have yet to start reading it- but I'm happy that I stumbled across it. (The book is Armed and Dangerous compiled by Ken Abraham.)

Although we may study the Bible, the verse says, "look carefully" and "don't forget what you heard." There is a difference between just simply reading something the Bible, and letting it slip from your mind completely, than actually applying it. There are many people in my life from my youth pastor to my family and friends, that I can talk to about anything. When I do, they are knowledgeable about what I may ask because they use God's Word. Those same people have taught me some of the greatest lessons to learn, from the right perspective. The thing is though that I want to be able to teach someone else, using God's Word, and not just my own personal opinion. Even with this desire, the root of any kind of teaching is to have studied the material first.

You can use different sources that correlate with the Bible along with the Bible itself. That's why there are books out there that are made specifically for breaking down things that may be hard to understand. What I'm asking you to do, dear reader, is to study. Not read and forget. Not go without knowing- but to study and apply. You never know who you can help with all of the knowledge God has to offer. As I said in my last entry, we will never know everything. God's wisdom is far greater than ours will ever be. But what he gives us is His Word, and what He wants us to do is to continue learning from it.

That, dear reader, lasts a lifetime.

Many blessings.

From His point of view...

2009-01-15T17:20:00.006-06:00

things are from a totally different perspective.

"My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts," says the Lord. "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For jsut as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than you ways and my thoughts are higher than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:8,9

Before I begin, I'd like to say that this is something I learned yesterday in youth group, thanks to Pastor Matt. I thought I would share this message with you because it was something that changed my way of thinking and my heart. It's something I"m still learning, and always will every single day.

When I think of God's understanding, the analogy that comes into my head is like flying in a plane. If you've never flown in a plane before, just imagine a time where you were high up, looking down at what was below you. From high up, you can see things from a completely different point of view. Instead of being limited to what your eyes can see from standing on the ground, you're able to see past those limitations and see things more clearly. The reason why I imagine flying in a plane is because I personally, like to sit by the window. I've always liked looking out of it as the plane goes ascends. Gradually as the plane goes higher, you go from seeing the tops of buildings, to entire cities, and then to the point where you see the tops of clouds.

The point of view my youth pastor used was this:
God can hold Earth, the Sun, all of planets around the sun, along with the rest of the universe in the palm of his hand. Even the places that we haven't been able to see through a telescope.
You and I, dear reader, can't hold very much in the palm of our hands. To imagine that God holds the universe is something that we can't being to compare to.

Now knowing that God holds everything in His hand- He can see EVERYTHING. No matter where you are or what you're doing, He can see you doing it, and already knows what path you're going to take for the rest of your life.
What we have to do, dear reader, is not to live as though our standards and way of thinking is the way to go- but to God's standards. He wants us to think more like Him the more we get to know Him, every single day.

"Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don't be selfish; don't try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don't look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had."
Philipians 2:1-5

You see? He's not saying be angry if someone is angry towards you. He's not saying to judge if others judge you. He's saying be humble, compassionate, and loving with one another. Have His attitude.

We will never know everything. Ever.
But if we have an attitude such as His,
we would be able to see things from a different point of view,
as though flying in that plane.
We will see things from a more loving point of view,
and most importantly, His point of view.
Allowing the happiness and blessings He has for us, to come into our life with open arms.

Many blessings <3
and to Pastor Matt and Joy, if you ever read this, thank you.

I just love how...

2009-01-12T12:21:00.005-06:00

when we have a question, He answers it.

"We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies. Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you."
2 Corinthians 4: 7-12

I really don't know exactly how to describe what just happened other than this:
"And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don't know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words."
Romans 8:26

I can't describe to you, dear reader, what exactly I was trying to ask God- because I couldn't even explain it to myself. Opening my bible, I came across the very first verse I posted- and sure enough it answered my question completely.

None of us know how long we are going to be here on Earth. One thing we should all know is that our bodies are temporary. Pain and suffering is temporary. Everything we do while we are here is temporary, becasue our bodies do not last forever. What that verse says, is that even though our bodies do not last forever here on Earth, why not serve and worship God while are are in them? The great thing about doing so is if we do serve God while we are here on Earth, there is an eternal life with Him in heaven. It's not temporary. It's far from being temporary. It's eternal.

The first part of that verse states: "We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves."

God is running through us every single day whether we realize it or not. This inlcludes the times where we may be at our worst- He's still there. But one thing I'd like to say is that having God in is us a great and wonderful thing. How so? Here is how.

"Have you heard? Have you never understood? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all of the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding. He gives power to the weak, and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31

So even in our temporary bodies,
although we will have and eternal life with God,
He stays with us throughout our life here on Earth until that eternal life,
when we will be with him forever.

Many blessings (:
(comments are open to everyone)

In the darkness...

2009-01-08T16:43:00.005-06:00

there is a light.

"He rescues them from the grave so they may enjoy the light of life."
Job 33:30

"The Word gave life to everything that was created, and his life brought light to everyone. The light shines in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it."
John 1:4

There are no words that can even begin to describe how my day went today. The message behind it though, is what I'd like to share with you, dear reader, and I hope it touches you in your life, in some way.

My youth pastor, Matt, said if you're ready to just re-commit to God and for Him to work in your life to share His glory, come forward. Yesterday I, along with a few of my other friends in my youth group came forward. Ever since then I haven't felt the same. There was such a fire inside me for God that I couldn't control. I went to sleep with a smile on my face.

This morning I woke up ready. I told God, work in my life according to Your Will. Allow me to reach out to someone today I may not know. I need to get out of my comfort zone. Work through me God. I got to school, and after the morning had started, a few things made me feel annoyed and distracted for the rest of the day. I felt as though I was hiding and my mind continued to stray into my own world, and I was angry with myself. Why hadn't I reached out to someone yet? Why was I staying silent?

I got on the second bus to go home, and I sat next to someone who I knew I had only introduced myself to once. This introduction between the two of us took place almost a month ago. We had never talked again since then. Listening to my iPod I rode the bus and almost home, God told me, "TALK to him. Tell him about the prayer meetings." I was thinking to myself: What if he laughs and shoots down what I say? I was scared. Talking to people I don't know out of nowhere is something I'm still getting used to. I then realized this-

I've said before that God's love is one of the greatest things we could ever imagine. It's true. There is no need to hold back from what He tells us to do, or what's on our heart to do. Spreading his word is important- even if it takes one person at a time to do so. Me talking to this one person about the prayer meetings would be opening myself up for God and for once, stepping out of my comfort zone. I turned to the person, and told him about the prayer meetings. I told him that I'd like him to come and even bring a friend if he wanted to. Afterward, I couldn't contain myself. I stepped off the bus and literally danced all the way home.

God made the darkenss in my day- the times of anger and annoyance- into light. I didn't know who I was meant to talk to today, and I didn't have to. God brought that person to me and I talked to him because it was God's Will and I followed through with it. The situation told me that no matter what, God is ALWAYS there and through Him, with Him, stepping out of your comfort zone and encountering with other people about Him, is a blessing. My worries and negative thoughts were gone. God answered my prayers, and this is one step for me to get closer to Him.

I encourage you, dear reader, to do the same. Step out of your comfort zone, in your own way, and know that God is with you every step of the way and won't leave you by yourself. Soon, there will be no hesitation, no worry, and just simple joy with talking to others about the one who shared the most unconditional love anyone can ever give. Allow Him to bring the light into your life from the darkness.

Many blessings.
(:

Sunshine by Kirk Franklin

You bring the sun out
You're the reason that I'm living, I was hurting but I'm happy again
You bring the sun out
I was hurting but I'm happy again
You bring the sun out
Lord I wanna thank You 'cause
You bring the sun out, to make my love grow, you bring the sun out
You were there when I had nothing
You've been with me from beginning to end
You bring the sun out
No clouds in the sky, that's the reason why
I Love You
Question number one: What can I do?
Question number two: What can I say?
To try to let You know, I appreciate, all of the ways You get me through my day
Never would have thought, I would be here
A heart with no scars, a face with no tears
How can I thank You, how can I show You
Wish I could get the whole world to know You
If they only knew, You are the one that gives me the air to breathe
And see I can't deny that, You're the reason why my life has a melody
And even when I stray, I still feel your grace pulling me close to You
So no matter where You are, just know I'm not far, without You what would I do
Question number three: Where would I be?
And Lord not only that but, how could You see
My days and my nights, the pains of my life
But now it's alright, 'cause You worked it out for me
You gave me a chance, when I had no chance
When I needed help, You gave me your hand
So now they need to see, just what You mean to me and if You ever left me, where would I be
I feel the sunlight on my life reminding me that it is alright
And I see the rainbow and I know my storm is finally passed away
There is a soft wind that begins to blow back the clouds
So I can see your perfect plan now I can hurry to my destiny

The greatest thing in the world...

2009-01-04T16:35:00.004-06:00

is the love He shows us every day.

"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. At that time you won't need to ask for anything."
John 16:20-22

My goodness dear reader I could not wait to write this entry today! One thing I've asked God to show me lately through His word is how to show more love towards other people. As I opened my bible today, on my heart was the book of John. When I went to it, this was what I came to first- and surely did it put a smile on my face.

From reading that alone I learned that Jesus had such a powerful love that we need to have in our own hearts. I don't think I can even understand how great that love is. It's endless and unconditional. In the verse above Jesus talks about how the disciples would mourn over what was about to happen to Him. We know that Jesus knew He was going to be crucified, but the thing is, even with this knowledge He STILL emphasized how there will be rejoicing even after His death. He loved every single one of us so much that not only did He die for us, but He expressed that there was no need to for sadness because His love alone was what was going to bring joy back into this world. Not only this, but we were all made with love and Jesus dying for us forgives us of the sins we do on this Earth- and any that we will do. He knew what we were going to do every day of our lives since we were born. Every mistake and every triumph. Yet He doesn't turn away from us because of this. but opens up His heart allowing us to experience the love He has to give.

So through your sadness dear reader, through anger, or any other hard times there may be in your life, remember that same love- and no matter the circumstances, there will be happiness that overcomes any obstacle that comes your way.

This entry may not have been long, but I had to share it with you (:
Many blessings.

For every person...

2009-01-03T16:42:00.004-06:00

there is another one made just for them.

"So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Ephesians 5:33

Relationships.
I hit a tiny bit on this topic in an earlier entry, but I haven't made one specifically about it. Last night I couldn't sleep and honestly, the topic didn't stray from my mind once. I turned to Ephesians, because I didn't want to base this entry off of my own feelings- and sure enough I found the verse above.

I, in no way, shape, or form, have been in any committed relationships- or know a lot about them for that matter. The funny thing is though, that I didn't realize how much there was in the bible about relationships. Today when I found that verse, it talks about something that lately has come to me, the more I've gotten the chance to actually sit down a talk to God.

One thing that verse talks about is that "each man loves his wife as he loves himself." This is something that my grandmother also taught me. Whether it be a husband and wife, boyfriend and girlfriend, you and a family member, or you and a friend- you have to be able to love and respect yourself before you share what you have to offer with someone else. God makes each and every one of us different, but out of the billions of people on this Earth there is one person God made for us, and one person we're made for. When he brings that person into our life it will be favorable in God's eyes and bring more joy to the people involved, and to the relationship itself.

"And he said, 'This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.' Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.'"
Matthew 19:5,6

There isn't anything wrong with dating or being interested in someone. What one of my good friends taught me today was that those things help you realize the traits of that one person that God made for you, whether you realize it or not. For me personally, I'm perfectly content with being single, because I know God still has a lot to do in my life, and my personal growth with Him, before I'm with someone else. There is absolutely no rush. About to turn seventeen, there's a whole life ahead of me. What I wanted to share with you dear reader was the simple fact that a relationship in God's eyes in another blessing in our life, that does take patience and self growth, but will be well worth the wait.

<3

It's a mind blowing thing to know...

2009-01-01T20:57:00.005-06:00

that God is always there.

"But if an angel from heaven appears- a special messenger to intercede for a person and declare that he is upright- he will be gracious and say, 'Rescue him from the grave, for I have found a ransom for his life.' Then his body will become as healthy as a child's, firm and youthful again. When he prays to God, he will be accepted. And God will receive him with joy and restore him to good standing. He will declare to his friends, 'I sinned and twisted truth, but it was not worth it. God rescued me from the grave, and now my life is filled with light.' "
Job 33:23-28

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!
I'd like to start off by saying that I'm not going to be posting on specific days anymore. I guess you could say the reason why is that I can't put what God puts on my heart with a schedule. Just as I write to you now, I wouldn't have been able to do yesterday. So from now on, you'll have to check the blog and see if there are updates.

As great as the new years was, for me it brought some of the greatest heartache to myself. You know, I haven't had such a strong disliking towards myself as I did today- ever. Broken would be the best way to describe it. When something is broken, there is the possibility of it being put back together again. Being upset, I forgot that with God's grace, I could be put back together. I was blindsighted by a lot of things that may not seem like a big deal to other people. Yet, for myself personally what was on my mind tore me apart.

I opened my bible and the first thing I opened up to was Job 29. Not searching for it- but simply opened up to it. I began to read and for some reason was unable to stop. What I read described exactly how I felt and what I was going through. Maybe not the same situation as Job himself, but in many ways I could relate. When I thought everything was lost and that there wasn't enough in me to keep going, it was as though God was saying to me "I'm here."
I kept reading until I finished Job and it came to me.

God forgives and He loves unconditionally. You can mess up in the worst way possible and He's still going to wrap his arms around you and love you just as he always has. There is no need to question what He can do but know that He CAN do it. He comforts. I would be lying if I told you that I felt 100% better. There is still some worry in my mind about a few things. I do know that God's view of me is what's most important, and right now, He loves me and knows my heart better than anyone ever could. That, dear reader, makes me happier than anything else, no matter how much I think I messed up.

Hope you all have had a fantastic New Years.
It's 2009 (:

We don't come first...

2008-12-28T20:26:00.004-06:00

but we come second.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."
Proverbs 3:5,6

A very close friend of mine helped me realize one of the greatest lessons there is to learn- all within the past 30 minutes.
She posted a website: www.iamsecond.com
I wasn't sure what to expect with this website but it offered me much more than I ever expected.

For the past week or so, I've been lacking the peace that I've written about within a number of these entries. I can't lie to myself or to you by saying that I had peace. I started becoming more and more impatient, stubborn, and secluded to myself. The thing is though that I didn't see it at first. How I began to change came in small doses that could easily go unnoticed. So they continued. Today I didn't want to wake up and go to church. No, I have never been a morning person, but there was absolutely no desire whatsoever. Fifteen minutes late, I finally got up and left out with my little brother.

My brother and I walked in just as the sermon began. We took our seats and pulled out our bibles. Our pastor began talking about what it takes to have longevity, prosperity, and peace in our lives. He listed 10 points.
1. Be guided by love and truth.
2. Have total reliance on God.
3. Shun conceit.
4. Honor God with your possessions.
5. Accept correction.
6. Seek after wisdom.
7. Don't fear.
8. Give what is due and don't withhold good.
9. Don't devise evil against your neighbor.
10. Don't envy evil people.
All of these points came from Proverbs Chapter 3, and as he began to list them, I noticed that some of those things, I didn't do. Not bothering to think about it further, I just wrote them down, and listened for the rest of the sermon. I didn't think twice about it.

Then now, my friend posted a note with that website I stated in the beginning, and I watched one of the videos. The video I chose was about a woman who although living paycheck to paycheck and raising a child on her own after a difficult marriage- was at peace and was happy with her life. This peace and happiness came from her putting God first. For some reason when she said that, I cried. Those points my pastor listed in the sermon and the woman in the video both had something in common. They both involved putting God first. Not second, not third, not when we want to think about Him- but FIRST.

When I didn't want to get up this morning, I wasn't putting God first. I wanted to sleep in longer. When I was getting annoyed at those around me, I wasn't putting God first by showing love towards them: "Love thy neighbor as thyself." A rush of things came to mind, and a prayed and I cried even more. As I sit here writing this to you- it makes sense as to also why also didn't have the desire to even update this blog. If I did before now, it wouldn't have been for the right reasons. It wouldn't have been what God wanted me to share with you.
I feel now that I can actually do that.

So dear reader, I ask you: Do you put God first in everything that you do? Although I still have A LOT of growing to do when it comes to this, I can say to you that it's the true center and core of that peace. Without putting God first at all times, the peace cannot exist.

Much love to you dear reader and many blessings.
<3

The dependency of people...

2008-12-23T12:59:00.004-06:00

will prevent your growth with God.

"I long for the years gone by when God took care of me, when he lit up the way before me and I walked safely through the darkness. When I was in my prime, God's friendship was felt in my home. The Almighty was still with me, and my children were around me."
Job 29:2-5

I realize that I didn't write yesterday, but at the same time I didn't know what to write. Trust me, I had ample time to do so. I wasn't about to sit down and make something up that wasn't supposed to be shared with you, dear reader. At the same time, I'm glad I'm writing today instead.
Not only have I been a day behind with updating this blog, but many days behind with reading my devotional. I took the time this afternoon to catch up and the very first entry I missed ended up being the one thing that actually stood out to me. It said:

"People-dependency can make you vulnerable and stunt your growth"

No, it's not talking about your height "growth", but your growth with God. As the verse above states, Job wasn't talking about what people blessed him with in his life. He's talking about what God blessed him with.

I know there has been a time where we, including myself, have felt dependent on other people. It happened to me when I felt the need to impress, rather than be myself. For others it could be depending on someone else to find yourself, or to be popular, etc. etc. The reasons are different, but behind it all, what needs to be seen is this-

Other people don't provide us with where we need to go in life. YES, there are people in our lives that teach us lifelong lesson. There are people in our lives that do get us farther in school, careers, and so on. But every one of those people were put into our lives because of God. We don't have to be dependent on other people to be happy or get somewhere. Putting your faith in God is what is going to get you wherever He wants you to go. On top of that, where God wants us to go, by putting that faith in Him, will lead to our greatest joys and successes in life

I doubt I will be able to write on Christmas, and even if I did, you probably wouldn't get the chance to read it. So I say to you, have a very Merry Christmas! Spend lots of time with family, friends, and remember the true meaning behind it <3

There is a time...

2008-12-21T11:11:00.004-06:00

for peace.

"A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace."
Ecclesiastes 3:8

"Accept the way God does things, for who can straighten what he has made crooked? Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life."
Ecclesiastes 7:13,14

Yesterday was a day where I felt truly happy. I came home after a night over at a friend's house, and it came over me, uncontrollably. I thanked God for this happiness, because what had been on my mind these past few days had started to weigh down on me. At that exact moment, all of it was gone.
Yesterday was also a day where I cried into the arms of my friend, completely miserable. I told her things that I was afraid to say, and afraid to admit to myself. It was even about the things that disappeared during that time of happiness I had. How could I have felt like this, after such joy? I went to sleep last night. . .not ok. I didn't know why, but once I opened my bible and found the verses above, it came to me.

God had, has, and always will bring peace into my life. I will have those times where I feel unstoppable and glorified by him in every little thing that I do. There will also be times where God will bring those "crooked" paths. One thing my friend made me realize is that sometimes those crooked paths are brought to protect us. What I was upset about, I would rather not post on a blog for the world to read. I do know that, as strange as it may sound, I am at more peace knowing that God brought me that realization, which brought me tears. It brought me patience and strength, and that the patience will surely be worth it.

I ask you, dear reader, to know that there is a time for everything. In Chapter 3 of Ecclesiastes it's clear as day. I feel slightly repetitive, for again I have stated this same thing a few entries back- "there is a time for everything".
One lesson may take a lifetime to learn, but let's just say "there is a time for everything", makes a lot more sense to me now.

Get ready to say...

2008-12-17T16:38:00.006-06:00

hello to a brand new beginning.

"Thy hands have made me and fashioned me: give me understanding, that I may learn they commandments."
Psalm 119:73

So I will admit, I was not sure what I would be writing about today.
Yesterday I was picking out a book to read, because I needed something to do when I was finished testing. Little did I know, as I began to read the book today during Computer Applications, I already had a bookmark in it. On the bookmark, said the verse above- and trust me, many things sparked from that one verse alone. As my brother and I were walking down our street from the bus, I was looking at my feet. Nothing else. I was staring down at every step they were taking, what they were stepping on, and how fast things were going by with each step I took. For some odd reason I began to think about that verse and realized:

Isn't it amazing how beautiful each and every person is?
"Thy hands have made me and fashioned me..."
God took the time to "fashion" each and every single person on this earth to not only be an image of Him, but to be his wonderful creation. A creation that can think for itself,
a creation that has the ability to walk, talk, see, smell, taste, and hear the world around it.
It just hit me as to how much we are capable of doing!
As much as we are capable of doing, whether or not we can see those capabilities, each of those things we can use every day to glorify the One that created us:
We can think of God's will to incorporate it into our lifestyle, and through that we can walk through this world and talk about God and the many things He does for us, and what He has promised us. We can see the things he's made on this earth from the trees, to the sky, to the ocean. We can taste and smell some of the things on this earth that were made to nurture us- and hear more of God's teaching throughout our lives only to repeat the cycle again.

How wonderful is that?
We can love. We will meet someone who God made for us to be with, and there will be peace with that person. As much as we can fall in love, we can still have a love for those that are our family, our friends, and those we don't know.
We can care for those who need a shoulder to lean on.
We can LIVE.

I'm in awe and slightly taken aback as I write this now. It puts a smile on my face that I am God's and He is mine. My life, should be lived for Him because He made me. Not only that, but He made me unique and not like anyone else on this earth.

I ask you dear reader, how will you live?

Many blessings.

We all...

2008-12-15T18:47:00.006-06:00

make mistakes.

"Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall."
Psalm 55:22

I have this tendency to rewind my day and play it back in my head. It could have been a good or bad day, I just always do it.
As I rewound this past weekend in my head, yes, there were many times where I was laughing and having a good time, but there are some things that still poke fun at me. Some things I said, that may not seem like a big deal, have a much bigger impact on me than they would anyone else. I can't stand it when that happens, but sometimes it needs to.

I've come to realize that even though you make a commitment to God to live for Him, or have had many blessings- that there is always still something to improve about yourself. One thing I know that I have to work on is not saying something I know I just. . .shouldn't. It would save me from a lot of headaches and wondering if I am being myself. When I say myself, I mean someone that loves God, and doesn't only say it, but lives that way.

Other than that, I hope the beginning of you holiday season is a blessed one (:
I know this one wasn't very long again, but you never know- I may end up writing something else between now and Wednesday.
Have a great week.
<3>

I adore...

2008-12-10T19:30:00.004-06:00

the little things.

"My heart is confident in you, O God; no wonder I can sing your praises with all my heart!"
Psalm 108:1

For the majority of the week, I've been fighting a cold, and so far have not been winning.
Even with this cold, I didn't realize how much God did for me yesterday.

I thought I lost my purity ring at a farm and wouldn't find it again. I mean seriously. A small ring amongst hay and dirt? The possibility of finding it again was slim. The next day my friend texts me saying that she found it sitting in her car and gave it to me later that day during class.

Two days ago I e-mailed some administrators from my top college that I want to go to. For some reason I felt the need to get a head start on the whole college process. I was definitely not expecting a reply anytime soon. Later that same day, I received numerous replies from each administrator. Gladly the journalism program already had my name and the music department suggested I come down and sit in on a rehearsal. I'll definitely be scheduling a visit there next semester.

My brother and I are usually out of the house and on our way to school by 7:45. I didn't wake up until 7:30 and we didn't leave until 7:55. My plan was to get to school by at least 8:10 to make it to come of the FCA meeting. I was sitting down listening to the message of that meeting at 8:05.

My partner for a Physics lab, and I, finally created a design for our "paper car", after taking numerous class periods to figure out where to begin.

A test was gladly voted to be moved to Friday, giving everyone an extra three days to study for it.

To me, these things are huge, even if they seem small. Today's entry isn't exactly on a specific subject, but a time to reflect on the little things. How much has God done for you lately? Sitting back and thinking about it, may surprise you as it did me. A cold is nothing compared to how awesome these past few days have been.

Now that I have shared this with you, have a fantastic remainder to your week.
<3

Grab your tools...

2008-12-08T19:52:00.003-06:00

and put yourself together.

"A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil."
Ephesians 6:10, 11

There are two things I would like to write about today. A very small part of me is glad I got a cold/sore throat, because I wasn't able to talk much- and with that time, I could sit back and think a bit more.

First off, the verse above is something I could fully relate to. I have not been sad, nor have I been happy recently. I've been settled in between and could not understand why. A few entries ago, I wrote about losing yourself to the world, but I started to wonder if you could just lose part of yourself. For example, someone who is opinionated who gradually becomes silent. With myself, it's been someone who is usually more on fire for God who gradually becomes dim. I don't know why this has been going on. I'm not going to let this get the best of me though. I can say all I want that I want to try harder, but the actual attempt is the difficult part.

Just like you can lose yourself all together, you can lose parts of yourself as well. In chapter six of Ephesians verses ten through seventeen states the entire armor of God:
belt of truth, body armor of God's righteousness, shoes of peace that comes from the Good News, shield of faith, salvation as the helmet, and the sword of the Spirit

Without just one of these vital things we can fall from God as we can with ourselves personally. I encourage you to think about whether or not you're wearing your armor of God. I'm trying to get a few pieces back myself, and I know that with God's help, I'll be able to do so.

"Promise me, O women of Jerusalem, by the gazelles and wild deer, not to awaken love until the time is right."
Song of Songs 2:7

This second topic is: relationships.
God being the ultimate "matchmaker", I guess you could say, is one thing I seemed to have forgotten. I've made attempts had interests as far as relationships go, but they go absolutely nowhere. As the verse says to "not awake love until the time is right"- it makes perfect sense. There isn't anything wrong with liking someone, but if it's not a relationship God wants you to experience, then it is something that shouldn't be forced. The first time I read Song of Songs, I fell in love with it. It was a relationship that was right. Not by the standards of the two people themselves, but by God, which made them happier and just as much in love with each other. I do not want to necessarily fall in love with the next person I meet or like....no, no, no. All I'm saying is that it's someone I want to actually put thought into and take my time. Patience is one thing I need to work on also, yet in the long run, it will be worth it.

This past weekend was phenomenal for many reasons, and if you are reading this, and know what I'm talking about, thank you. You have made every moment of it special.

Right now, I am off to lay down with some medicine and a movie.
May the rest of your week be wonderful.
<3